By COLlive reporter
Shiduchim were said to be a smooth and easier process back in the day. One of the reasons: Everyone knew everyone. Everyone knew the Shadchan and the Shadchan knew you. That world was a much smaller place.
A group of 5 Crown Heights chassidic women are trying to retreive that advantage by creating what they call a “virtual shtetl.”
They opened a “Shiduch Office” to offer better, easier and more effective ways of networking and sharing around information and profiles of eligible Chabad singles to date and marry.
They recently staged a pilot Shiduch Speed-Networking event that attracted over 65 women and girls. Shidduch names and suggestions were shared and they tell COLlive.com that “we actually have people meeting and dating.”
The Shiduch Office is run as a co-op that includes Chavi Katzman, Devora Krasnianski, Chani Marcus, Chanchi Milecki and Sarah Yarmash. And they insist on calling themselves by a self-minted term “unShadchans.”
“There’s a certain stigma involved with being a “shadchan.” Even many shadchanim don’t like the term,” explains Milecki. “So we have coined a new one: The UnShadchan. That means everyone can help make a shiduch.”
“Using the traditional “shadchan” approach, but with a revolutionary twist, we can make many more shiduchim,” she says. “Because everyone knows someone looking for a shiduch.”
The next unShadchan Networking Event is on Rosh Chodesh Shevat, January 11, 2016, in Crown Heights and is by-invitation-only for women.
To be invited as an UnShadchan, you will have to submit a minimum of 2 profiles of single men and one or more of single women that you will present at the event. These singles can be children, siblings, Shabbos guests, friends, children of friends or co-workers.
8
The shidduch office
The whole purpose of the shidduch office is to create a centralized database of relevant information for shadchanim to access. … ONLY their supposed unshadchanim can access it. And they are shadchanim just like others. There are other shadchanim who are at least as receptive to the singles needs and are not allowed into this clique.
What is the twist here? Chicago group, beshert now…is doing the same thing and already containing lists of names and profiles…please share if there is more to this method? And perhaps having men join will be helpful too! Thank you for the efforts and time you ate giving to this!
There seems to be a problem with the link. If it doesn’t work you can register by emailing the shidduchoffice@gmail.com.
Given what you’ve been through, and knowing what it takes, you sound like the perfect person to get involved in making shidduchim. I hope you are doing something to help singles. Actually, if everyone got involved by making suggestions, saying tehillim or doing whatever they can to make a shidduch, even if it’s taking small steps, more shidduchim would evolve.
you are right on the button ,
you sound very intelligent and wise.
we need people like you to coach those who cant figure it out on their own,
thank you very much for your input.
As a chsidisher yungerman involved in making shiduchim even the best bochurim want the things in 25. The gemara in speaks about those qualities as well. Girls that neglect their appearance do not get dates or are rejected. Most boys and men dont buy into accept me the way I am. If that would be so true why dress up when you go out. Just wear your shmattas and tell the boy to accept you. This is just practical advice. In a perfect world maybe it woudnt be needed but we dont live in a perfect world and that is… Read more »
Get a financial planner and mashpia on board. Young women routinely reject men who are irresponsible with money and don’t keep the basic standards of frumkeit.
Get a communications expert to help guys sound more interesting. Most women will reject men who sound wimpy, boring, and self centered… 🙂
This is the reality today whether you like it or not. If you want to get a shidduch do those things or you can stay single like many of the altruistic types.
give the device to match.com… your comments are totally superficial and geared to boys his heads are in the magazines and the secular experience. They’re only looking for glamour and skin deep beauty. No Jewish values at all in your comments. Probably you’re a single guy Who will remain single for a long long time.
You sound like you have a very good understanding of emotional intellect and you would make a great shadchan! Please join to help others!
WELL SAID!
Advice for this group. Get a personal trainer and a dietician on board. Young men regularly reject overweight girls. They expect a girl to take care of herself. Get a makeup artist on board to advise the girls how to look attractive. Get a counselor on board to help the girls learn how to talk to men. Most men will reject girls that are to bossy. There are many secular books about the method in which a girl should surrender in order to attract a man. Older girls are set in their ways and sometimes come on to strong and… Read more »
Thoughtful and perceptive. Why are you still single? I would love to meet you and set you up with someone!
Really good to see a huge change of steps but some of us still waiting for a chaddcan to email us or ring us about a possibility about a shedduch .thanks a lot for your events all is good but we are still waiting.
Is this for all ages of people or limited?
Chabadmatch started years ago and many people were afraid to post profiles. There were many shidduchim made and so many more could have if parents weren’t so snobby or overly cautious
The expansion of networks to connect singles is great, although one small piece of the problem. There are many social and event networks and not one fits all so I applaud these woman for stepping up to the plate to make a difference. As a single guy 30 years old I have come to learn that a lot of the solution needs to come from within. What I mean is many singles today don’t know themselves well enough to know what they really need and want. We live in a society that tells us who we should be or who… Read more »
BRAVO!!! Thank you “un-shadchanim” for stepping up to the plate and filling a huge void!!!! You should have much hatzlacha and Hashem should shower you with His blessings for taking these responsibilities upon yourselves!!!
what time is this being called for?
Today a typical Shadchan is basically a secretary, an intermediary, shuffles emails back and forth,and maybe if you’re special, will answer your phone calls once in a while. (All the while, telling you how hard they are working)! The “unshadchan” is really what is missing in each potential Shidduch to make it work. Someone on each side working with the parents, and with the girl or boy. Sometimes it’s 2 people, one working on behalf of the girl, and one on behalf of the boy. They have to be in constant touch with each other. Sometimes it’s one person who… Read more »
Where’s the registration form?
…is getting “un-resumes” on the scene.. 😉
How do i go about joining this team of women.
I am an English women & would b interested to join this group to help young girls & boys in shidduchim.
ok. so there’s been a shadchan event and an unshadchan event. how about a singles event?
There’s a new fad of “shadchan coaches”, how is this concept different to theirs?
Well done for starting the initiative and being interested in helping people who are in shidduchim. May Hashem bless you with making many shidduchim and simchas this year. You give people in shidduchim encouragement and bitachon that they will find their match very soon.
speaking from a singles point of view went through a very painful time in my life, i realy must thank these “unshadchan volunteers” who in my opinion are so few today, if only all shadchanim would be like that i would of been married long ago without all that pain that still left a strong imprint in my life even today, as my great uncle being a good shadchan back in the days (now 87) told me that he feels today that shadchanim are not as devoted as was in his days, when every shadchan felt that they are saving… Read more »
There needs to be…more woman like these!
Who got up, and are DOING something!
They are not just commenting like many of you with their bright ideas….
Maybe all you negative comments, get up and do something.
Thank you to all unshadchan volunteers! Keep up the good work. I believe helping singles these days, is one of the most important Tzedaka you can do nowadays.
The whole purpose of the shidduch office is to create a centralized database of relevant information for shadchanim to access. Th idea is you only have to meet one person. These events are for networking and getting more people involved in making Shidduchim. If you want to help and get involved or add a profile please email theshidduchoffice@gmail.com
Is there any way a single from out of town could send in their profile please?
There must me a central data base that everyone can tap into.
There needs to be a profile database..lets all combine every profile we have to one database so when someone hears a name they can get the profile of the person their looking for quickly and easily…If everyone works together this can be done.
All efforts are great efforts. May you have great Mazel.
Rivkah Leah
Needs to be a “shidduch network” that EVERY shadchan or unShadchans or anyone that know someone to be submitted to a “head shadchan” or “head shiduchim office” that there’s people working there as a full time job in a office that has everyone’s info from anyone across the globe, and shadchanim would be able to call or Skype to this office, and diccuss any ideas of singles that they think matches what they are looking for, and the people working in this office should have it all filtered to the most detailed information, so when looking for something specific would… Read more »
Thank u to all the unshadchans for ur tireless work and efforts.
As a single is there a way we could send in our profiles and recive suggestions?
This is great. Kol Hakavod to the ladies. Now watch how the critics will swarm in. This is a very simple and practical approach to assist the singles and avoid the middleman (or the yentas). Bsurot Tovot and Hatzlach Raba.