By COLlive reporter
The Gemara in Taanit tells that on the 15th of Av, “the daughters of Jerusalem would go out… and dance in the vineyards. And what would they say? “Young man, raise your eyes and see which you select for yourself”.”
Today, Tu B’Av remains a Jewish mini-holiday, yet the practice has ceased and many await their bashert.
To ease the tedious search and research process, a private website has recently been successful in featuring profiles of single Chabad boys and girls in a modest and respectable manner.
MyShidduch.net, founded and run by a single Lubavitch girl who wishes to remain anonymous, started 2 years ago as a helpful addition to try to alleviate the shidduch challenge in Lubavitch.
Approved by a number of rabbonim and mashpiim, the free service has seen its numbers grew to include hundreds of profiles of eligible chassanim and kallahs of every type.
To date, MyShidduch.net takes credit for being involved in 23 marriages.
“The website isn’t intended to replace traditional shadchanim or suggestions from relatives and friends,” the founder explains. “It is, on the contrary, a helpful addition that is more in tune with today’s generation of Chabad singles.
“It is logistically impossible for all shadchanim to meet all singles, so this allows them to view profiles of singles they would never have met otherwise, and who may be shayech to singles they’re trying to set up.”
Almost 40 shadchanim and networkers are signed up to receive each profile which is also posted anonymously on the site. The founder, who works in a family business, updates the site during her free time.
MyShidduch.net was born out of a vision to help the shidduch situation. After thorough research, its founder (who wishes to remain anonymous) concluded that
“One of the main roadblocks to finding shidduchim is that unfortunately many singles who may be shaiech, do not find out about each other’s existence until quite a few years have passed,” she says.
“There are many of singles in Lubavitch, but there are also dozens of shadchanim. While that may be a good thing, it makes it more difficult for singles who use different shadchanim to find out about each other, as shadchanim usually only suggest the singles they personally know and have on their list.”
MyShidduch.net offers singles, parents, or other relatives the opportunity to fill out a short profile of a young man or woman of marriageable age.
The profiles are posted without names, photos, or any other identifying information, in a tznius manner. Hometowns are also not posted, which helps overseas singles who otherwise face a bias against them.
Ages are posted in ranges, which is also helpful for older girls. This approach allows them to be discovered for what they are truly worth, without being eliminated out of consideration just on the basis of their age. Each profile has a contact person whom shadchanim and anyone who is interested can ask for more info and follow-up.
“Finally someone did something about the shidduch crisis instead of just complaining,” is one of the thank you comments she has been receiving.
Browse profiles or add your own at MyShidduch.net
As a 20 year old bochur who’s looking to get married has a tough time cause the system is working very poorly it’s not just the girls
What event did you go to? And I think the problem with most events such as you describe – are that the girls mingle between themselves and so do the guys….someone and something needs to help break the ice…
Singles are searchable by criteria if you use the “Bochurim” and “Girls” pages instead of just clicking through all the profiles.
The site is for all Chabad singles, FFB and BT.
I have a married friend in crown heights who used to invite potential girls to shabbos meals casually and invite me as well, and often it gave me a good idea. But otherwise I agree it’s hard to find that setting. I dont know if its right for everyone, but I favor being able to meet in person and chat. Would speed dating be totally outlawed as an idea? 5 or 10 minutes per person, at the end you write which numbers you thought were compatible, and if the overseer reads that that numbered person liked you also, they can… Read more »
chabadmatch.com i went ther 5 yrs ago contacted the shadchaniml ist found 1st shadchanim that got back to me witha girl and it wokr been married 5 yrs+
That is so nice – is there something like that for single males?
They should do that in more cities in my opinion.
Is there some kind of Shabbaton where singles can meet – maybe something like a “speed-dating” or something of the like?
I think you are a bit too pessimistic. MyShidduch.net (MS) does provide certain benefits over using a traditional shadchan. Usually shadchanim are working on their list of customers only. They don’t usually share lists. After all, it is a business. MS is open to anyone to browse. If you find someone that sounds like a possibility you can call the contact to find out more. If it sounds suitable you can request the full profile and start making phone calls. This beats the lists sent out by one CH shadchan to those that registered with him which only contain a… Read more »
This shabbos 11 Shuls in Lubav area organized Kiddushim for single Montreal girls…..& whoever chipped in their daughters names are going to the Ohel…….
Is this only for chabad girls or all baalot tshuvo?
To #1. (or anyone for that matter) I agree 100% to what you said. But then what would you (or anyone else) suggest to those looking for a shiduch to do? how do we get ‘invited’ to a ‘natural setting’ to see or meet other people in a ‘Tzinusdiker’ or ‘appropriate’ way? I’ve been to an event yesterday where there were many singles and Shadchanim there – but I didn’t really get a chance to talk to girls there. I spoke to one – but I wasn’t too sure how apropriate it really was. I spoke to a shadchan and… Read more »
tu bav is my birthday!! lol!!
🙂
You are so right!! And all this websites do is move a broken system to the internet, as if that would solve any of the problems…
It will maybe make dating easyier but not marriages happier.
Singles who become engaged have their profiles removed immediately.
I went on the site and it does require the girls to enter their exact age and date of birth and it does show up on their profile- they can’t just give an age range like it says. I believe it would be better to have the option of putting in an age range (like the article says) of about 3 years or so so that the focus is not entirely on the age and there is room for flexibility.
How do we know how long ago these profiles were put up?
Are any of the profiles out of date? ie married B”H
Your are 100% on the button. Papers and references are
deceiving and cause too many good possibilities to be overlooked .
You are so right. Very well said.
I think its a great idea and I appreciate this girls effort. BUT, I have visited the site, and as it is with all these resumes, they all sound the same. The fact of the matter is, that all these ‘great’ ideas are all doing the same thing and skip out the main problem of our shidduch system, which is: Papers and references all mean NOTHING! The thing that is missing from our wonderful system is that bochurim and girls don’t get to see each other in a normal natural setting AT ALL before the date, and that I believe… Read more »