It’s Not Too Late, We Are Still One Lubavitch Family

By Arik Levin

Recent events at 770 Eastern Parkway have made some of us ponder things we haven’t been thinking about or focusing on for a while. In Lubavitch, between brothers and sisters, thoughtless and misguided actions done by some individuals have awakened people’s thoughts and feelings about disagreements and differences of perspectives between us and our fellow Lubavitchers.

Some have walked away from this occurrence saying that we need to replace the Gaboim, while others want the Rabbonim to take charge. Some think it is the Yeshiva’s responsibility to put things in order, and of course, there is the opinion that the owners of the building – Merkos and Aguch should finally take a more active role. As expected, most of us feel even stronger about our long-standing positions and feel that the incident in 770 proved that our thinking was correct the entire time.

As often happens, as the days and weeks pass, the memory fades away, and we fall back into the old rhythm of our lives, allowing the issues that had us all worked up just a few days ago to be pushed to the back of our heads. But as history keeps on reminding us, not everything can be ignored out of existence. Problems need to be fixed; they should not be forgotten or ignored, lest the issue fester and evolve into even greater proportions.

Now, the million-dollar question – what should happen? I do (like many others) think that I have an answer, though I’m not going to share my thoughts on this matter here because, frankly, what I think makes no difference. And aside from getting people to argue in the comments and dig their heels even deeper into their current opinions, no one will gain anything. Yet, while it may not be in the hands of the “run-of-the-mill folks” to resolve these issues and answer these questions, there is a truth that we must remember and perhaps a little something that we can do to improve matters.

Let’s remember an important fact: even if two Lubavitchers were born into two different families, grew up in opposite communities, went to totally divergent or even antagonistic Yehsivos and schools, went on to date and marry very different people, and settled down in almost separate worlds, they are still both Lubavitchers – family. 

As we approach thirty years since gimmel Tammuz, the facts on the ground, unfortunately, seem to set us apart. Entire communities have evolved on their own, complete with Yeshivos, Mosdos, and cultural echo chambers. The young from each “camp” do not even know each other’s existence. Yet, as a Lubavitcher, I still believe it’s not too late; we are still family.

I’m not saying this as an innocent bystander; I have opinions, and they definitely put me on one “side” of Lubavitch. And yes, I would not feel comfortable sending my kids to certain schools and wouldn’t want to join specific communities. Yet, not only in the name of “Achdus,” I really do believe that we are one Lubavitch, and the only way for that to continue is if we are conscious of this truth, and even if we totally disagree and truly cannot validate the other side’s views and perspectives, we can still see them as family, even if they are misguided (according to “our side”).

And it goes without saying that we should refrain from making terrible comparisons and using terminology that demonizes our fellow Lubavitchers, however wrong we think they are.

There is no easy fix. Many people will have to bend over backward and climb down the trees they climbed up. Many of us will need to learn to listen, acknowledge mistakes that were made, and be willing to put in the work to improve the situation. And while in Galus, this will be tedious work. Yet, we must remember that how we argue shows a lot about where our care lies and impacts both the image of Lubavitch as seen by the world and the kind of Lubavitch our children will grow up to see.

Meshichism and Anti-Meshichism discussions and disputes were, for the most part, relegated to seventh-grade classrooms and Leil Shishi’s in Yeshivos. We were set in our ways, and okay with it. Some cared more one way, others felt the other way, and many people just couldn’t care less. The negative outcome of this indifference was the affirmation of opposing camps in Lubavitch and the establishment of completely separate systems where people won’t meet and problems will never be discussed or fixed. Hopefully, recent events will force us back to the table.

But on a more positive note, in the last couple of years of “quiet,” we sort of learned to disagree without the emphasis on division and politics. When people aren’t busy fighting, then, even when they meet someone with whom they disagree, they can focus on things that they do see eye-to-eye. The walls of division between factions of Lubavitch on the “amcha” end have been torn down, even if it will probably take much longer for that change to happen on the establishment, mosdos, and financiers level.

While we can’t fix the situation in 770 on our own, we are the oxygen of those who can. If we just strengthen “our side” or choose to sit this one out and allow others to fuel their side, we will keep running into this same issue again. But If we choose to change the narrative on our end and learn to live together (i.e., fix the things that we agree on) as one unit, this will give oxygen to the pragmatic and Shalom-focused approach to prevail.

I hope we can all agree that what was can no longer be, so instead of arguing about who should change it, maybe for 5 minutes, everyone can band together and clean up 770. Afterward, we can go back to having a heated dialogue, hopefully driven by the possibility of a better future and not over the grievances of the past.