By Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson for COLlive.com
Nineteen years ago, on 2 Adar 1, 1992, Crown Heights quaked in horror as the news spread of the barbaric murder of Pesha Leah Lapine, a young woman, wife and mother of four young children. Returning from routine grocery shopping to her home on Lefferts Avenue, she was attacked and stabbed to death in front of one of her children.
The following day, thousands of Chassidic Jews, headed by the Rebbe, escorted her on her final journey. The Rebbe stood on Kingston Avenue for a very long time, long after the coffin had passed, his face expressing profound anguish and deep pain. Upon returning to “770” following the funeral, the Rebbe strongly threw down the “kvort” when he finished washing his hands.
Seven days later, at the end of the Shivah for Mrs. Lapine, Lubavitch trembled as the Rebbe spoke with unforgettable distress about her death and of the orphans she left. The Rebbe spoke of her choice to die “al kidush Hashem,” knowing that someone else would have to raise her children. “For a mother,” the Rebbe said, “this is an even greater mesiras nefesh than giving up her own life.”
The following day, on Friday after Mincha, the Rebbe again devoted a sudden Sicha to Mrs. Lapine. Yet again on Shabbos at the Farbrengen, the Rebbe spoke of her a third time. This tragic murder affected the Rebbe in the profoundest of ways.
A few days later, on 27 Adar 1, the Rebbe suffered a stroke.
19 years later, on the day of her Yartzeit-this past Sunday-the Lapine family completed a Sefer Torah written in her memory and honor. The Torah was completed at the Lapine home, presently on Malbone Street. The Parade then marched to 770, where the Hakafos were performed, followed by a Seudas Mitzva at the Maple St. Shul. These were special moments, engraved with heavenly fire and joy, that will remain etched in the memories of all of us who attended the celebration.
We owe a special thank you to the Lapine family for giving us the privilege of being part of this extraordinary event. What a beautiful tribute it was to your unforgettable mother and what a demonstration it was of the spark of life, love and commitment that your holy mother-and your father may he be well-inculcated in each and every one of you.
It seemed simply obvious that every capable member of the community, especially those who remember the events of 1992, particularly people of leadership positions in Chabad and in Crown Heights, would feel the urge to be present at such a monumental occasion – honoring the woman, the young mother, killed “al kidush Hashem” in our neighborhood, paying tribute to her memory and showing respect to Mr. Lapine and his four beautiful children.
I was stunned to discover a different, disturbing reality. The attendance was an embarrassment to us as individuals and as a community. To be sure, it was not Mrs. Lapine who needed our honor; it was we who needed to show up at such an event.
Just for the four orphans who – as the Rebbe predicted – struggled heavily growing up without their mother, we should have all been there.
Just to honor a woman, a Ba’alas Teshuva, who was murdered in Crown Heights “al kidush Hashem,” we should have all been present.
Just as a gesture to Mr. Lapine who endured so much suffering, we should have all been there.
Just to honor a Sefer Torah written for such a special and holy woman, we should have all come out.
Just to pay tribute to the Rebbe, who dedicated so much of his heart and soul to this woman and her tragic death, we should have all been present.
But somehow, very, very few felt the same.
We should be melamed zchus that some individuals and heads of organizations were engaged in important work this past Sunday afternoon or were unaware of the event or were out of town.
But at least some of us ought to ask ourselves this question: Have we perhaps lost our way as to neglect such an occasion, which should have attracted two thousand members of the community and every single rabbinic and organizational leader?
– Rabbi Jacobson, one of the most sought after speakers in the Jewish world, is the spiritual leader of Congregation Bais Shmuel Chabad in Crown Heights, Dean of TheYeshiva.net and host of the Monday Torah web class on COLlive.com
To take part in the writing of the Torah, click here.
pesha leah was a close personal friend of mine. a very special lady indeed. she never saw the bad in anyone or anything.
while walking on kington, doing just what all of us do, even if she was short of cash, i never once not give tzedaka to anyone who asked.
she is truly missed
To all, that our numbers may be small, but together and in unity we can accomplish that which we set out to do. When crime was getting out of hand an Commander Vega was punishing us for being Jews, we marched on a Erev Shabbos and showed our numbers and our unity. That’s when he was given the boot and things did improve, at least for a while. May we know from no more tzuris, G-d knows, we’ve had enough over the past 2,000 years…
…here is someone who is not afraid to speak his mind …i am bitterly ashamed that i didnt go…..i was a 19 yr old single girl living in C.H at the time of her murder and will never forget the day..and the Rebbes reaction,i was at all the farbrengens…it shook me up real bad and have often thought about her(i did not know her personally) and have wondered how her kids were doing….what has become of us??!!…so wrapped up with ourselves….
but wrong is wrong and excuses are always available but the bottom line still remains.
Thank you Rabbi Jacobson.
to #31 your a classic example of what Rabbi Jacobson is talking about. beyond chutzpahdik!
BTW, that night, I remember Shimshon Stock driving around in a car to making announcement that everyone should be there by the levaya that there should be a big crowd. (He did not rely on the “goodwill” or anything – I also remember him saying “I am a kohen and I am going anyway ….. ” your words is like a candle in absolute darkness. . . . I remember the events clearly. I am glad at least you were there. (one limud zechus – I had no idea it was taking place, i have to believe many others did… Read more »
R Jacobson you have a gift with words and those words you chose to form this article ripped into my heart. I am so ashamed of this community. I am 22 and only heard abt mrs Lapine hyd through stories. I know her awesome family and I did my best in donations and support. Something is wrong here when the younger generation is feeling more than the older one who experienced the tragedy. Why can’t pple put their egos away for one important hour and unite as one community? Hashem should hold nothing back for this family and return their… Read more »
Thanks for posting the website for donating to the Sefer Torah. I wrote about why I could not attend & explained how it was difficult emotionally but I did want to do something so I donated.
This article seems to imply a lack of caring which is a misunderstanding. I think that, like me, some people are still traumatized by the tragedy to such a good person and could not face going to the hachnosas sefer torah. Cowardly, but true. Everyone had a very sincere interest in the event but for various reasons, some people are timid of encountering their own strong emotions on top of all the demands of life in this galus and in Crown Heights. So please don’t advertise this as a general sense of indifference or a lack of caring which it… Read more »
for the record, rabbi jacobson does not teach in chovevei torah anymore (not that this info/what you wrote is relevant at all to the mssg rabbi Jacobson wrnte) . And, the fact that many people here (like yourself) are getting so defensive proves that his op-ed hit the right spot. I am thankful for this letter, for it reminds me how truly desensitized i am to what is/was of gr8 importance/held dear by our Rebbe…we face a very difficult challenge these days ie to be moved, inspired etc by the rebbe’s words-as if the Rebbe was here saying those words/walking… Read more »
I live in L.A., and I saw it posted on line!
No excuses! Do something positive!
If you want to rectify the situation! Donate to the Sefer Torah!
sweet idea, but how about help finishing pay off the 1st sefer torah first???? http://www.pesyaleahtorah.com/
seriously guys and gals! lets write another sefer torah for her!!! lets put our money where our mouths are!!!!
donate it to any shliach or mosod of the rebbe!!
count me in for 100.00
Here is a man, a family and organization (fridaylight) who have been keeping her legacy alive by allowing each of you to know when candle lighting is each shabbos in her honor. The sign is clearly marked in her zchus. This was done a few years back with no fanfare and no big call to action. It was simply done. If you want to learn about action and leave the talk to col bloggers have a look at R’ Boruch Duchman and family. Action talks!
first of all, there were plenty of fliers up and down kingston, as well as placed in shulls, and the few shuls i stopped by at all announced the siyum sefer torah as well as the kscvk auction. second of all, not only as a crown heights member, if if (like i) wasnt even born when the incident happened; as a jew and chabad chossid you DO have an OBLIGATION to participate in some way!! Klall Yisroel, and Lubavitch especially is ONE famly! when one is in pain, we all are; when one is happy, we all are! this wasnt… Read more »
Thank you Rabbi Jacobson for taking the time to write the op-ed and bring your point to everyones attention.
Its schocking to see some of the responses to this article, instead of making a cheshban hanefesh, we are all looking for excuses and to deflect blame on someone else. Saying Rabbi jacobson is insensitive?? why because he feels for the family and cried out? The people who didnt come are insensitive!! have we become numb?? with all the fighting and machlokes in our community we have no true leaders! Rabbi Jacobson probably never wrote an article before the siyum because he never dreamt that people wouldnt come! it was very well advertised on every website, posters on the polls… Read more »
Dear Rabbi Yosef Jacobson, Your words regarding the siyum Sefer Torah in honor of Mrs. Lapine took to my heart and I agree with everything you said. There is however something in your article that bothers me. As far as I know you are the rabbi of Bais Shmuel and a member of han-hu-lu of Chovivay Torah Zal. Besides for these powerful positions you have a tremendous talent to inspire people, as we see from this article. I have no doubt that had to voiced your concern with your Eser Kochos prior to the event you would have had a… Read more »
It took me half a minute! Thank you collive for the opportunity to join in this mitzva.
A very special family .do they need anything? Can money still be given to the sofer Torah ? Can we help in any way? I’m London and was very touched by the pictures and this article.thank you to the family for the sefer Torah and rabbi Jackson for highlighting the greatness of this family mY Hashem bless them and protect them .
The article is right on target. For some reason tens of people read the op-ed, on the very site where the ads and articles about the siyum was written. I’m on shlichus out of town but years ago clearly remember the horrific event.
and followed the news about the Siyum.
Don’t shoot the messenger, Rabbi J has a true point and many people are writing things that are totally inappropriate. If you couldn’t make it, fine, but to post such insensitive comments?
We should only hear b’suros tovos.
Unfortunately, Rabbi J is right. Lets try to put our personal feelings aside, and hear what he is saying without getting defensive. I live far off, in another country, and I knew about the siyum sefer Torah, so although there may have been a handful of people that didnt, I am sure most did. Rabbi J should have posted this BEFORE the event? Perhaps, but maybe he was SURE that everyone would show up, given the importance of the situation? Lets learn from our mistakes, a golden opportunity has been missed out on, but lets show the precious Lapine family,… Read more »
.
Shaul lost crowm not because he sinned but he said Chatosi Ki……
Teshuva is learned from Dovid Hamelech He was able to say Chatosi ! NO EXCUSES can’t we?..
Let us not lose our CROWN heights..
Thank you Rabbi J. Your right on the mark.
I just donated..How about you?
http://www.pesyaleahtorah.com/join.php
Rabbi Jacobson is a million percent right! Everyone else complaining and saying ridiculous things is upset they couldn’t make it, or just arguing for the sake of arguing! Please grow up thanks!
And honestly alot Of ppl r saying really insensitive things! So please stop! Thank you all in advance
its time someone speaks the truth without all the wishy washy, politically correct, smooth talking or agenda driven stuff we head all day long from our “leaders”
The following three people took part in the event:
Rabbi Leibel Groner
Rabbi Avrohom Osdoba
Zaki Tamir
As for not knowing about the event, in addition to the signs and posters in the streets, it was in the collive events calendar and as a news story: https://staging.collive.com/show_news.rtx?id=12666
Rabbi Jacobson, I think you are off the mark. Your article causes much more pain than the lack of attendance. I agree that it would been much nicer had the entire Community showed up. However, after the fact I must totally agree with comment number 3. If you truly cared, you would have gotten involved. Your after the fact article is just pouring salt on a wound that most people do not want to relive. I’m not a newcomer or a youngster. I was traumatized by the entire episode 19 years ago and all I see in your articlle is… Read more »
the murderer YM”SH is in serving a ‘life’ sentence in Sing Sing; Release Date: 02/04/2017
Parole Hearing Date: 10/2016
(from here: http://nysdocslookup.docs.state.ny.us/
DIN number 93-A-0690)
Actually, I felt there were lots of people who attended. It was amazing that these young children turned a tragity into a moed so full of life. These children are truely amazing! Yesher koach!!! Moshiach now!!!
if the rebbe was so sad about it, then we should also give our honor to mrs. lapine. when i was reading the story, i tried not to cry. i was moved to tears. i don’t know why.
Rabbi Jacobson, you are not the Rebbe and certainly not in a position to offer wholesale criticism of all the hasidim and rabbinic leaders in his Community. What is your point in offering this criticism after the fact – and if you felt so strongly why didn’t you write a piece before the fact – informing the public and encouraging attendance? This op ed strikes me as loshon hara and somewhat misnagdish. Next time say a few l’chaims first.
For those who msay they didn’t know. I live out of toen and knew about it. It ws well advertised. EVERYONE should have been there. I remember the horror well. If I lived there I would have been there. Even from afar I participated. NO EXCUSE not to come. Great article Rabbi J.
if you are reading this op-ed and commenting i would imagine you check out the crown heights-lubavitch news sites atleast once a week and if so you have no excuse to pretend you didnt know bc every one of them posted about the siyum sefer torah before shabbos!
http://www.pesyaleahtorah.com/
lets not bring out bad in ppl, most ppl either didnt know, were unaware or made a big mistake, chas veshalom not because of any other reason. but yes, we can at least all donate as a tribute…
to your lingering question, dear rabbi, is undoubtedly: Yes.
today, our community leaders stab each other – who needs enemies…?
today, each member of our enlightened community forges his or her own path in life – who need a torah…?
today, we willfully create our own tragedies – who needs memories of one past…?
however, perhaps the usually positive essays you provide, dear rabbi, may help change the tide for the better, with G-d’s help
This should have been posted before the event
i just want to let you all know, that it was advertised very very well. Flyers were put out through everyones door. sighns were put on the poles. it was announced on 770. There was not anymore that could have been done.
Are people so unaware of their surroundings? When it come to nonsense everyone knows every little dirty detail. YOU walk every day down Kingston Ave and there is a sign above House of Glatt with the time to light Shabbos Candles, leiluy nishmas Pesya Leah Lapine hy”d. And you read it every time you look at it. Ignorance is not an excuse. How many levayas do you know of that the Rebbe came outside for? How many many people did the Rebbe speak 3 sichos about? Get your heads out of your boots!
there should have been a notice of this serious and special event i heard nothhing about it ofcourse i would have attended with my whole family……..i clearly remember this tragic event and how the rebbe mhm responded……..rabbi jacobson u should have posted this article before the event not now……..moshiach now!!!!!!
Rabbi Jacobson, if you thought that a massive showing was in order, you should’ve called upon the public to show-up before the event, you should’ve called the Rabbonim, Gabayim and Presidents of all the shuls, along with the community leaders before Shabbos, and ask them to announce this event to the public and to remind them of the importance of this event, by any big event Siyum Horambam…any Yoma depagro like 11 Nissaan, etc…thare are cars with loud speakers who go around CH for a number of hours , sometimes even for a few days, without any real publicity, u… Read more »
I live here in LA and I knew about it from COL. So it’s ironic that the people commenting, obviously COL readers, didn’t know about it. It’s naturally possible that many didn’t know about it, and perhaps memos to all Shuls would have been in order. But the leaders, oy, why didn’t the leaders show? Rabbi Laibel Groner did, but no others. He even came to the downstairs 770, which I know it’s easy for him. The truth is, we should reevaluate out priorities. Crown Heights has never been a sentimental community, except for the ba’al teshuvas (incidentally, I, nor… Read more »
Rabbi Jacobson, I am surprised!
Our way, when we find fault is not to admonish but to be misaken.
Your words, although heartfelt, are just that, words, unless an action of rectification is offered.
What do you propose?
How about a fund or a small fee charged not more than $5.00 to make sure that all simchas and l’havdil tragedies should be well publicized with posters and the like in every shul and store in Crown Heights announcing the event and name this fund and effort l’ilui nishmasa. That way we will convert this mistake into a toeles larabim.
I was there even though I do not knot the lapine family,
I remember hearing of the murder and shocked all those years ago, when I came to CH shortly after the murder i remember a friend pointing out the house on lefferts ave (I belive it had a green awning),
May Her Neshoma have an Aliya,
this was event was publisized on all the chabad news sites.plenty of us were around then;enough to have had many more people attend. don’t attack the messenger but ask yourself,if this women would have been gezhe,how much greater would the turn out have been? you know the answer and that is one of the continuing tragedies here.
For one, very little publicity prior to the event. Just curious, Rabbi Jacobson; would you have been there had you not been the keynote speaker??!
their were posters all over CH and nobody said tachanun in shul by Shacharis so people should have known About it.
Its not really that way – So many did not know about this before and a huge amount of people in this community are much younger or newcomers and were not in town and very possibly know nothing of what happened then – we can only learn for the future that its a responsibilty of those in the know of anything important to teach others that dont know (ahead of time) – Thank You
TO # 22
killer got 25 to life
http://www.nytimes.com/1992/12/15/nyregion/25-years-to-life-in-slaying.html?scp=14&sq=Phyllis+lapine&st=nyt
Rabbi Jacobson, with all due respect to you and to a beautifully written article- I myself found out about this event only late motzei shabbos, and though I did not join the march through the streets, I was at 770 for the full hakofos. My thoughts were focused only on the beauty of the event, the pure joy of a siyum sefer torah, and the poignancy of one commemorating such an event. I couldn’t let myself leave until after the 8th hakafah. Let me tell you that at the time that this story happened, I was 3 years old. I… Read more »
I am out of town but when I saw the publicity in advance I was compelled to donate which I did right away.
Maybe this post should lead to an increase in donations to the torah fund.
COL: please post link to the fund
LaPine family, please provide COL with fundraising updates.
Let’s raise $10,000 as a result of this article.
Rabbi J is correct. Many didn’t know about this siyum sefer torah, and for those who didn’t know about the siyum, this letter is not intended for you! This letter was intended for 1000’s of people who DID know about it and whom should’ve attended but didnt. Sometimes the issue really is that unfortanetly “time heals” and the sadness fades away. It is up to US to remember and never forget how our friends that have had lost ones pass away and they don’t forget. Their pains are so strong everyday and we must try to be there for them!… Read more »
i agree with you
If anyone knows, please post
Mrs. Lapine is front and center in Gan Aiden and will be so in Olam HaBa.
Shloime Freundlich your humble student, thank you for coming out in support of the under dog I was there with Dudi Farkush and Rabbi Jacobson to honor Pesha Leah Lapine HYD Sunday and to here Rabbi Jacobson talk comparing her to Rebbe Akiva ben Yosef
I thik we should be melamed zechus on our wonderfull community, the fact that not every one new about the siyum and not a big shturem was made out of it before hand. I found out about it when it past my house and i marched along to 770 and stayed for hakofos. I was there 19 years ago when this horrendous tragedy (hoyo loi sehiye)happened and followed by the rebbes unpresetented sicha – i felt an obligation to join the march and im sure if more people would have known about it and the seriousness of the situation they… Read more »
Wow its so true .
I felt the exact same way!! thank you Rabbi YY for speaking up!!
Out of towner and so its easy for me to speak, but I agree Absolutely!
Oy ,You are so right.
It pains me just reading this…the schools should have taken the students and families should have shown up by the masses…its the harsh reality of this world that unless ur a ‘somebody’ nobody cares!
well said rabbi!
a siyum sefer torah in itself is a huge mitzva and cause for celebration, the fact that it has such special meaning its obvious to participate!
i had the same thoughts when looking at the pictures
We have lost our way………
We have to make a cheshban hanefesh as a community, we are so bus fighting and so insensitive to something that caused so much pain to the rebbe!
i didn’t even know!
I for one didn’t find out about this Siyum Sefer Torah until that day and couldn’t attend. I think more publicity would have brought out more people.
rabbi jacobson you are a great speaker etc.
but this article is just plain out of place…
i felt the same
although i didnt live here back in the 90s.
i felt emotions swelling up as i was walking/dancing down the street. a circle completed!!!
I totally agree very strongly with the post , I thought the same as I was walking with the crowd…
what an unbelievable woman
Sorry, but this article should’ve be written before the event, not after. Rabbi Jacobson, if you thought that a massive showing was in order, you should’ve called upon the public to show-up before the event, you should’ve called the Rabbonim, Gabayim and Presidents of all the shuls, along with the community leaders before Shabbos, and ask them to announce this event to the public and to remind them of the importance of this event, just like KSCVK did for their event. Sorry, but its not fair of you to come a week later and challenge a community, 90% of whom… Read more »
Because you are right, and we should be ashamed…
I didnt even know there was something happening? did you announce it, where there flyers?
I never knew Mrs Lapine, but would have loved t ojoin, but didnt know about it. The next time there is a Hachnosas Sefer Torah, it should be announced better!