Rabbi Gershon Avtzon, Cincinnati, Ohio
As we are finishing another – hopefully successful – school year and begin preparing for the joys of the summer, it is time to put a focus on something very important: Teacher appreciation.
Despite my inner-feeling that people will judge this as a self-serving article, I am writing this for the greater good and toeles.
I would like to start by sharing with you a true and telling story: Shortly after the Yeshiva in Cincinnati was opened, I met an old teacher of mine on Kingston Ave. This teacher was no longer teaching and was now in the Insurance industry. He had heard that I had decided to invest myself into Chinuch and he had this important piece of life-experience to share: “Don’t go into Chinuch for the appreciation, as it rarely exists in our circles.”
He then shared the following: “As you know, I spent a few years in Chinuch and I dedicated myself to my Talmidim. There were many boys that I helped navigate the difficult teenage years and Baruch Hashem were able to grow to be successful in Yeshiva and life. Throughout these years, I rarely got any thanks or recognition from the parents of the boys that I was involved with. I figured that these people just don’t express appreciation. When I started selling insurance, some of these parents became my clients. Here is where I saw something fascinating: When I would let them know that I saved them $100.00 on a policy, they thanked me profusely!”
Times have changed, and Barcuh Hashem, there has been a big awareness about this important topic and people have really begun expressing their sincere and deeply-felt appreciation to the educators of their children. Notwithstanding the above, I would like to share a few thoughts that might enhance your appreciation even more.
1 – First and foremost, let us look at the example shown to us by our dear Rebbe. The Rebbe’s melamed was the Chassid, Rabbi Zalman Vilenkin A”H. The Rebbe would not sit down to start a Farbrengen before Reb Zalman was seated and the Rebbe insisted on paying for his burial plot and having his matzeiva say that he was the melamed of the Rebbe! He would always say about his melamed that “Er hut mir avek geshtelt auf di fees—he put me on my feet.”
2- The pride of Lubavitch today are the dedicated Shluchim of the Rebbe. Our hearts swell with Nachas when we hear stories of their care and Mesiras Nefesh to help another Yid. At the same time, we must remember the following: The Shluchim are the “arms” of Lubavitch and the Mosdos Chinuch are the “heart” of Lubavitch. For strong arms to be successful, they need a functional and healthy heart. We must all internalize that the success of our Mosdos Chinuch – which is directly linked to our dedicated mechanchim – empowers the success of our Shluchim around the world.
3 – Today, more than ever, young and inspired couples are dedicating themselves to Chinuch as a Shlichus. Until about 20 years ago, when I was in Kollel, the general attitude was that if a Yungeman has social skills, charisma, creativity and personality – he definitely should use those qualities in outreach and Shlichus. Those that were lacking many of the above-mentioned qualities would “by default” end up in the classroom.
A true story: A relative of mine, a shliach in a small town, had a son in a certain Mesivta. The boy was naturally quiet and shy and had a difficult time initiating a conversation and relationship with members of the Hanhalla. A few months into the year, the father came to visit his son to see how he was adjusting. He went over to the Mashpia of the class and encouraged him to reach out to his son. The Mashpia listened intently and then replied: “Rabbi: If I had social skills- I would be a shliach!”
This B”H has changed. Many of today’s young Mechanchim are super-talented and energetic. They are using their skills and creativity to reach out and build everlasting relationships, and impact, on our children. They do this with much dedication and sacrifice: Sacrifice in Ruchnius (there are still many that say that they are not “real shluchim”) and Gashmius (a teacher – even excellent ones – get paid a limited salary. They really can’t use their great people skills to fundraise as they are investing everything into their Talmidim).
While many are fortunate to be able to “properly vacation” in the summer, most Mechanchim are not in that position. They may choose to get a summer teaching job (to help pay the basic bills) and many use the summer time to develop their teaching skills and abilities.
As a Rosh Mossad, I know how many “end of the year” thank you notes, envelopes and presents the dedicated mechanchim receives. While the percentage is nice, it is not enough. We must create an environment and culture where every single parent shows appreciation (it does not have to be financially connected) to the family of the Mechanech of their children. This includes their wives who are partners in this special Shlichus. They support their husbands and open their homes – Seudos, Farbrengens etc – and many times bring the “motherly” aspects of Chinuch (Homesickness, personal care etc) to the attention of their husbands.
They are investing in your most precious “possession” (your child) – and should be honored, appreciated and thanked for doing so. They are building our future and it is time that we remove the condescending tone and language of “he is just a melamed” from our language and speak about this holy profession, which “hut mir avek geshtelt auf di fees” with the awe and respect it rightfully deserves.
Wishing everyone a “Gezunte Zummer” and Moshiach Now!
If you have comments, questions or ideas, please write in the comment section below or email me directly at rabbiavtzon@gmail.com
So true!
Thank you so much for this awareness article. BH my son has attended Mesivta and Zal but unfortunately I had no idea who taught him on a daily basis. Not once had the hanhalah set up a PTA or sent me a correspondence regarding my son’s teachers. I speak to my son, but he’s doesn’t “shmooze” like my daughters about every teacher and staff member. As such I have not been able to extend any sort of appreciation to the staff of my son’s yeshivos, which is unfortunate. I would have loved if the principal sent out an email at… Read more »
Teachers are caring for our precious neshamos. I make sure to always text my sons’ teachers every two weeks to thank them for their dedication and hard work. I want them to know that I see and appreciate their efforts.
That’s wonderful and I assume that your children also know that you are grateful and show gratitude to teachers. May you see much nachas that your children follow in your ways. Children learn from what they see at home much more than what is taught in the classroom.
I wish there was appreciation shown to those who do other important work as well. Even if I work in an office, I also don’t get paid enough, my ex just abandoned us and I struggle to pay rent. But since I’m a female who is not a teacher apparently I should be happy with my salary and make sure to give donations to the teachers – even if they can’t even keep my son interested enough to stay in a yeshiva. He’s a good boy that the system failed.
Your situation—being a struggling single mother—is so wrenchingly difficult. It deserves its own article…
Medicine is the same. I work in a heimish community and the patients act like they are doing us a favor by coming to see us
They are! For some ppl going to doctors is anxiety provoking gor various reasons. ( And sometimes because of rude medical providers). Of course people should be polite, say thank you, etc. But you get paid, people don’t owe you gifts.
I’m not sure that spending 11 weeks a year in vacation is an idea The Rebbe would agree with — especially for men with the talents you describe but don’t use on vacation
This is the best article that I have read in a while,
#we can’t predict the future but we can Create it !
our children deserve to have the Top Educators,
and the only way that they will receive that
is if we financially invest in our Schooling Systems
and only then can we properly help those outside of our community. (:
In current times where many parents struggle with paying rent, groceries, cost of tuition, even not everyone can afford summer camp or upstate stay. Vacation is a luxury. Many teachers receive help on yom tovim, not every parent has a business, and most people have regular jobs. Not every parent even has a car to pick up chama box for yom tov. Asking for “financial appreciation” for not even necessity where parents are financially struggling with bills is so wrong. What does it teach teachers to be nice to children of wealthy who can afford to pay for their vacations… Read more »
We must create an environment and culture where every single parent shows appreciation (it does not have to be financially connected)
Appreciation comes in many forms
Beautifully written and so true’
We need to teach hakoras hatov more for everything!
Safe healthy summer to all
There is no struggle, it’s does not exist in Lubavitch, I just finished teaching a successful year, and not one parent took a minute to say thank you!
I find this hard to believe. Did you communicate with parents throughout the year? Is there a PTA?
Were you respectful at all times to all of your students?
I am a teacher in Lubavitch and I have gotten many thank you’s throughout the year, as well as gifts.
Please don’t turn this into a “doesn’t extist in Lubavitch” problem.
Beautiful said! It’s not about expecting gratitude, it’s mentchlech to do so and when a person doesn’t feel encouraged or that Their efforts are doing anything they don’t find the same geshmak in Their mission.
It’s human nature that when a person is shown love, care and respect, the one on the receiving end will do the same. That’s the great secret to teaching. Love the kids, make them feel your world is a better place because you see their shining faces everyday. And I can tell you, it’s only natural that the appreciation will come. Tell them how much you appreciate them! And they will naturally appreciate you. It’s like the idea of seeing your own reflection in others explained by the Baal Shem Tov. May we all see tremendous hatzlacha in our holy… Read more »
A chassid wakes up and say “Modeh Ani” – we are trained as children to show gratitude …. to those that help them, to respect teachers and parents etc. Sadly, the outside culture is seeping into our communities. When gratitude to parents is highlighted, and halachos of Kibbud Av V’eim truly understood the chain of gratitude will flow. Today’s societal culture is scarily producing “self centered” children the “I” generation (iphone,iPad etc) and entitled children blame others for their disappointments. I hope we can instill in our children to follow the Rebbe’s directives of showing more gratitude and respect to… Read more »
All teachers, especially Judaic teachers, should be the highest paid profession. I hold all teachers in the highest regard. It always pained me deeply that I had nothing with which to thank them by way of a gift, monetary or otherwise. I thought that just a card would nearly be an offense for all they did for my son. When I would speak with them, of course, I would gushingly thank them, but I just wanted to put my money where my mouth was. They are all so amazing! Thank you, beautiful, teachers! How we love you!
I can tell you that the card is worth more than the money.
A real thank you card is greatly appreciated.
And if you don’t want to give just a card, home made cookies don’t cost a lot but show appreciation that you took the time and effort
Its the thought that counts. Whether you choose to express it through cards, Praise, phon calls, or money, its the thought that counts.