By Reb Zalman
I have been a Shliach in a small town for over 10 years. My community is not large, nor is it wealthy or influential. Most of the Jews here are not observant, and some are not even aware of their Jewish identity. My wife and I work hard to reach out to every Jew we can find, to offer them a taste of Torah and Mitzvos, to invite them to our home for Shabbos and Yom Tov, to teach them about their heritage and connect them with the Rebbe.
We don’t have a big budget or a fancy building. We don’t have a lot of staff or volunteers. We don’t get a lot of publicity or recognition. We don’t have a lot of numbers or statistics to show for our efforts.
But we do have a lot of faith and dedication. We do have a lot of love and compassion. We do have a lot of joy and gratitude. And we do have a lot of stories and miracles to share.
But sometimes, when I meet other Shluchim or Lubavitchers from bigger cities or more established communities, I feel like they don’t appreciate or respect what we do. They ask me questions like: “How many people do you have for Minyan?” “How many kids do you have in your Hebrew School?” “How many families do you have in your Chabad House?” “How much money do you raise?” “How much impact do you make?”
Among the comments I hear are: “You should move to a bigger place.” “You should focus on more important things.” “You should be more ambitious.” “You should be more successful.” “You should be more like us.”
They make me feel like my Shlichus is not good, worthy, or meaningful enough. They make me feel like I am wasting my time, energy, and potential. They make me feel like I am not fulfilling the Rebbe’s vision, the Rebbe’s mission, the Rebbe’s shlichus.
But they are wrong because there’s a misunderstanding about Shlichus.
Shlichus isn’t about numbers or statistics but about souls and sparks. Shlichus is not about fame or fortune but about service and sacrifice. Shlichus is not about competition or comparison but about cooperation and collaboration.
Here’s what Shlichus is about:
It’s about the smile on the face of an elderly Jew who receives a visit from us on Friday afternoon.
It’s about the tears in the eyes of a young woman who lights Shabbos candles for the first time in her life.
It’s about the excitement in the voice of a child who learns Alef-Beis from us on Sunday morning.
And it’s about the transformation in the heart of a man who puts on Tefillin with us on Monday afternoon.
The misunderstanding is sourced in ignorance. They don’t know the challenges we face every day, the obstacles we overcome every week, the miracles we witness every month. They don’t know the sacrifices we make every year, the blessings we receive every moment, the rewards we await every eternity.
The Rebbe taught us that every Jew is precious and priceless, no matter where they live or how they look. The Rebbe taught us that every place is holy and sacred, no matter how big or small it is. The Rebbe taught us that every moment is an opportunity and a responsibility, no matter how easy or hard it is. The Rebbe taught us that every Shliach is his emissary and his partner, no matter how famous or unknown they are.
So I think it’s time we stop judging each other’s shlichus and start supporting each other instead.
It’s time we stop asking each other how many people we have and start asking how many people we help.
It’s time we stop telling each other what to do and start telling each other what we do.
It’s time we stop comparing ourselves to each other and start complimenting each other instead.
It’s time we realize that we are all on the same team, working for the same goal, serving the same Rebbe.
It’s time we realize that we are all doing a great Shlichus.
First: this is a issue even before gimmel tammuz. Competition amongst shluchim. Second: lubavitchers have an issue not to raise chassidim to reach their potential and heights. They are VERY good at “you made it, wow, I cant believe it” in a sarcastic tone. Stop putting people down – its revolting and obvious! 3rd: the fact that you expressed it, really kudos to you because you would be even called “not chabad” for raising the TRUTH! Hatzlacha on your shlichus! As long as you have YOUR hiskashrus with our Rebbe and follow our Rebbes instructions that’s ALL that matters. At… Read more »
Right. I’m not familiar with this trend among Shluchim that is described in the article. I’m not on shlichus. But in any context, looking externally, comparing, and “should”ing makes isn’t consistent with Chassidus, Yiddishkeit, and regular good manners and strategies for productivity and success that completely secular business professionals employ. I guess it’s the holy yetzer hara that’s promoting the not holy or healthy thoughts and comments. In terms of “should” each shliach bezH has his own mashpia (like many business professionals have mentors and are mentors) for clarity regarding what the Rebbe’s directives are as they apply to the… Read more »
Because it used to be an insult to be called a chitzon but it almost looks like now that the chitzoniyus is what everyone looks at 😥
Numbers might be critical for shlichis actually. The Rebbe made it clear that the purpose of shlichis is to reach every jew, so if you can reach out to more than you currently are, by being “more ambitious” or “moving,” then that might be the right thing
The Rebbe never said to count on numbers and without numbers leave or go elsewhere for numbers. The Rebbe said to go on shlichus, make that place your shlichus and numbers will be sent. It’s a mindset. The first shluchim never went for numbers or money, they went because the Rebbe sent them – period! There was no “working your way around it”…. mentality. And no the Torah didn’t change and so is the Rebbes instructions doesn’t change.
The bigger your kehilla, the bigger success you are in lubavitch and by the Rebbe.
You are definitely not on shlichus if you could think of such a absurd thing the bigger your misiras nefesh with no feeling succes and no name recognition the more nachas ruach you our causing the mishaleach olom hofuch roisi
I agree
I hope this is meant only sarcastically.
That’s actually NOt true!! The Rebbe would cringe if the Rebbe heard such a stupid thing! The Rebbe was every yid as an individual!
I can’t imagine the Rebbe ever cringing. I think the Rebbe would take the time to show this person the truth in the most loving way
That those who choose to stay in Crown Heights are just as important and doing a shlichus too. We’re not just here for when you need a bed during the Kinnus.
actually the rebbe said that everyone should move out on shlichus and that there should only be a minyan of people in ch.
just btw
the rebbe did not say that, he said that he wouldnt mind if only a minyan remained
And who would teach in Bais Rivkah and all the crown heights yeshivos where you send your kids? How about the dozens of Hebrew schools within driving distance to Crown Heights that drive in teachers every week? We need the preschool Morahs to lovingly teach our children the Alef Bais, all the way up to high school and Yeshiva, to answer our teens’ questions and inspire them to dedicate their Rebbe? How about various Neshei programs, beautiful farbrengens, and the other things cultivated to inspire everyone, where shluchim tune in to? Chosson Kalla organizations… Crown Heights is a beautiful loving… Read more »
I think we all missed the point again. We should never judge, and if it’s easier, even think about, why someone may be living in CH. It’s just their life. And if you do want to think about it, I’d say think that it must be they’re doing their best, the same way a shliach, and every other chossid out there, does his best. Why wouldn’t they? And why are you better than them? Just pls don’t judge. This is besides not knowing what’s going on in others lives and if we had their challenges we may have been very… Read more »
farberengen, sefer etc
in the early years the Rebbe very much wanted everyone to move out and only a minyan of zkenim.
Later the rebbe said every one should go on shlichus but I the leaving was mentioned.
There was too much local shlichus to do.
someone asked the rebbe where he should go on shlichus and the rebbe said he shuld open a flower store on kingston and thats what he does till this day
While every human being has its place and mission and purpose, every yid and every chossid has a special mission and destiny. To compare yourself to someone who has dedicated their lives to the rebbe work spreading yiddishkeit, not to mention the incredible sacrifices that going to small communities entail. I am sorry but you really don’t come close in THAT regard. You are a dear yid and chossid but you are have not dedicated your life to the rebbe work and shlichus. Can’t have it both ways
You really do not know the circumstances of a person’s life, the decisions they had to make or why they ended up in one position rather than another. Sometimes we have to do a lot of inner avodah to accept whatever shlichus is meant for US. Your words are like telling the toe not to waste their life down there being a toe and instead migrate up to the brain.
The Rebbe said clearly that shluchim should only go to communities that are able to support them. He did not want a shliach in eck-velt draining established Chabad communities of resources. Every Chosid has their own tafkid and we can see clearly what happened to Chabad when the shlichus or bust mentality infiltrated Lubavitch in the late ’80s or so. The young are suffering the most because Shlichus turned into a talent drain, the opposite of the Rebbe’s intentions. Just look at the population under the age of 24, these are the Chayolei Beis Dovid. If they don’t look to… Read more »
And we have so much Shlichus to do here in Crown Heights.
There takeh is a lot of shlichus in crown heights
But nobody is doing it
Maybe your shlichus is to give the shluchim a bed during Kinus.
The shlichus of in-towners is to charge exorbitant fees for short term rentals to people visiting crown heights.
Every Yid is a Shliach and only Hashem knows who’s efforts carries the most results! Keep up your good work!
The issue starts with the higher ups. Who are the speakers at the Kinnus? Who gets the recognition? Who get’s the name and prestige? It’s a domino affect.
I think that the friend was saying that you’ll have an even greater impact in all those stuff that you mention, if you go teach.
At the end of the day everyone is being judged for whatever silly reasons
BTs get judged for being BT
Working men get judged for being working men
and now small town shluchim get judged for that
So and and so forth
Basically if you aren’t the cookie cutter top of the top you get judged for whatever reason. Ignore the haters and do what you do as best as you can.
This idea isn’t related only for Shluchim befnei azmoy but Chassidim who are not living on Shluchos but are still working and trying to do what the Rebbe wants! Living in Crown Heights, East Flatbush, Kingston PA, Montreal, Toronto or anywhere else. We are all trying to live the best we can to give the Rebbe Nachas. Just because we live in frum communities and have a job doesn’t mean we are farmers or less then! We are all Chassidim with one Rebbe! Let’s remember that when it comes to treating each other frum Lubavitchers! Every Yid should be treated… Read more »
It used to be that way. All chassidim had a job or business. The Rebbe introduced an incredible revolutionary idea of shlichus but never said that it should make you look down on regular people. It’s only an plus, and if you could do it, that’s amazing. And at the end of the day, your brother is your brother and your sister is your sister, indifferent of what they do, and as chassidim, we are truly one family.
Look down on “regular people“ that’s an odd reference. Since when are mekusharim of the Nosi regular?
In the Rebbe’s army each person is indispensable! The Rebbe demanded scientists-chassidim of his- to stay in place and be dugma chayas in their places of work. A prominent scientist or doctor or even tractor driver could do as much for hafotza as any head shaliach. Look at some of our gvirim, some of whom have bankrolled dozens of mosdos..SO the question of who is more on track or even indispensable is silly.
We simply can’t play the role of G-d!
I moved to a small town and we had ‘all the things’: We were the only thing in town For many people, we provided their first taste of everything: Shabbos, Tefilllin, Kashrus, etc Many of the people we met didn’t have money to give or chose not to give because they were never raised to give We had many UNIQUE and INSPIRING miracle stories, some of which became national news We searched for and served Jews with mesiurus nefesh In the end, as a result of stress, pressue, frustration, etc. our marriage was negatively effected I am going to say… Read more »
It’s not for naught, the Rebbe demanded that Shluchim only go to communities that can support them. The Rebbe has an Elokus vision, leave it to the rest of us to totally muck it up.
When the Rebbe sent us out, the Rebbe knew what was going to happen and the Rebbe gave us ‘the healing’ before ‘the malady’
G-d Willing, we will recover and be a family united
This really breaks my heart. I think that ppl ought to think before they speak “is what I’m going to say put a smile on someone’s face” … words of encouragement and support is needed by every human being. It’s not for anyone to “judge” another and dispose opinions on how another “should” live. Each person should worry about their “ruchnius” and their fellows “gashmius” to ensure to lift up each other and not ch”v cause friction. This goes in all areas – especially when it comes to bring careful not to negatively impact someones Shalom Bayis because the “opinionator”… Read more »
I so agree!
Thanks for inspiring the generations to come!
It is true and everyone should see this and take it to heart!
It’s so important!
It’s a beautiful article, and I really understand how upsetting it is to hear these comments.
But weren’t these small town communities supposed to be serviced by Merkos Shlichus or regional Shluchim? I heard recently that the Rebbe had conditions about where Shluchim could go.
And then Lubavitch grew and every bochur and seminary girl want to go on shlichus…
The big towns with many are taken, lol
Merkos Shlichus should be viewed as a temporary fix for a severe problem. Ultimately, people do much better in getting closer to Yiddishkite with a permanent, stable presence.
LOL! I totally thought this was gonna exhort all the CHs to be shluchim! And to recognize that they too are shluchim.
Every person is a shliach no matter where they are. They were sent to that specific place and time to accomplish something!!!!
I wish this was stressed more in kids schools and camps. My children often are hurt by the fact that their shluchim friends get all the attention… it’s not the kids fault or specialty being on Shlichus
It’s just the family they were born into
Many Anash kids have negative associations with shlichus because of this unfortunately…
This is not just about shlichus, its about our own life in general. The bigger we are financially the more respected we are, regardless if we admit it or not thats human nature and thats how people are judged.
I left yeshiva early largely because of this. I think many people are quite emotionally unhealthy and this is the cause of the judging. Not too get to deep in my whole theory but I believe it’s because it makes you feel good when I know what’s right and the other person doesn’t, I’m doing what’s right in life and he or she isn’t. Like the famous story of the Rebbe Rashab and the Raza but yet so sadly, the complete polar opposite. I think the source is that people aren’t in tune with their nefesh habahamis and instead, reject… Read more »
Thank you so much. We need more chasidim like you. We need more leaders like you.
So many families are hurting because of what you describe in your paragraph about (unintentional) control. I was one of those parents and it was a very difficult journey till I understood what I was doing to my family. It took the experience of a child opting out for me to understand what you are describing. I’ll only add, that often it’s not just the parents but the overall, unhealthy, environment that produces the toxicity.
It really means a lot
And it’s amazing to know of a parent to have the courage to change at that stage in life, obviously not just being a teenager on your own but already established with values and a family etc. Thank you for being an inspiration. I hope my parents will one day do the same so I have a place to call home
I’d definitely agree with you and just say I think it’s mainly at home. And the outside affects also. Not to say you didn’t mean that, but just voicing my personal thoughts
As the mashpia to our children who understands people and can guide them to understand themselves in this world and be better chassidim.
I honestly absolutely love the idea of yeshiva but the judgemental attitude, lack of privacy (more mentally but also physically in most places) and a few other things, I don’t know if I could go back. Maybe one day as an older bochur someplace I actually once went back to the zal, and I walked in and felt like I was in an interrogation. They don’t mean to do that, but stripping away someone’s identity, ignoring them as a human and just throwing questions at you, where you are, what you’re doing etc etc, is really terrible. No one should… Read more »
When a child feels unconditionally loved they have healthy self esteem. They don’t feel that they are being measured and judged to live to someone else’s standards.
Parents: your children are not mini versions of yourself. Love them, inspire them, be non judgemental and show them by role modeling what it means to accept when things don’t go smoothly. Your children absorb what they see at home. Chazak!
It’s very hard to raise children in isolation. “it takes a village” and much of the problem is in the environment. If Beis Rivka staff and student body doesn’t reflect your values, unconditional love will only take your child so far.
Read all the comments to this post about judging. Your children are impacted by this maybe even more than the adults.
I think if you truly show absolute unconditional love, no matter if the child is or is not on your expected standards and possibly even going downhill, they will always have an amazing supportive foundation and what to fall back on to truly find themselves. And when that happens, “according to the pain is the reward.” They will truly show they are an amazing incredible person
I think the raising in isolation is a big cause of the issue. We feel like because of all the outside negative things, we have to make sure our kid is doing the right thing, acting the right way etc, especially when you see them doing certain things. But that becomes the issue of control. We just have to be the best inspiration we could be and give them all the support in the world And we have to deal with it because we live a lot more spread out nowadays, shluchim especially but those who aren’t, it’s no longer… Read more »
Thanks for sharing!
For the story of the Rebbe Rashab and Raza. It was one of R Mendel Futerfases favorite stories
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/132416/jewish/Superiority.htm
Wow, it’s incredible how much power we have over our own judgment. No need to worry about what others think when you can be your own judge. But hey, let’s not settle for just one smile a week. It’s time to expand our horizons and reach out to more people. Gone are the days when we were limited by our geographical location, thanks to the internet and social media. The potential is limitless, so let’s break free from our self-imposed restrictions. Stop giving yourself a pat on the back for the little things you do. It’s time to level up… Read more »
If you have that many ppl at your shabbos meal youre probably in a bigger city. The whole point is it’s not about numbers!
that’s all? if you have 470 Jews that’s only 10%. over 22? is one pregnant?
Your exactly the issue he discusses.
large potatoes often come by the number and pound (not yidden)
from another small town Sheliach that still has a challenge pulling a minyan together.
Atem teluktu….Echod.
I don’t think he’s being judgemental, just pushing to strive for more. He also added that he’s a friend so he probably knows who he is..
And who’s to say this shliach isn’t pushing every day to get more ppl to come? Let’s hope he is! And let’s not judge : )
Not just leveling up in ruchniyus, but also opening up our neha”b, emotionally and psychologically
🎯
To add: The Rebbe taught that the farther you move out, the closer you are to him.
Moving far out to an isolated place is much different than moving into an established community.
i completely agree with the author in his/her essay. Actually, i had thought that we as a community have matured from the early days of comparing or bragging about numbers. Uchiyaduah the story about the bus driver who brought in more money by turning onto a main street, and was fired. Your neshama was sent down for 70-80 years to do a favor for the individual in YOUR town. Keep up the great work, and keep your chin up! Hatzlacha!
But this really applies to everything and everyone in life.
People who judge, do so to make themselves feel better.
Pay no attention … it can really make you lose your focus
It would actually be a powerful idea to have a Shliach like this speak at the kinus. To celebrate quality over quantity.
It’s all a mindset. If you feel that you are accomplishing the mission you were created for then that’s all it should matter for you and consequently the level of satisfaction you’ll get from it will be unbreakable.
Regardless of “numbers”, position and status. It’s a feeling of “Etzem sheata tofes bimiktzaso ata tofes bikulo”
This applies to the entire spectrum of society.
As a janitor in NASA expressed once to John F Kennedy “I am helping men to land on the moon”.
It’s all a mindset.
If you genuinely feel that you are accomplishing the mission you were created for then nothing of that should ever bother you, and the level of satisfaction you will feel will be unbreakable.
Does not matter numbers, position or status.
It’s a feeling of עצם שאתה תופס במקצתו אתה תופס בכולו
This applies to the entire spectrum of society as a janitor in NASA expressed wants to John F. Kennedy. I am helping man to land on the moon.
I’m so sorry that you feel this way
Stop looking to other people to validate you and your Shlichus. If you believe thy it’s the right place for you and that you’re doing good things, then kudos to you. Why are you letting comments of naysayers get to you!? You’re in the Rebbes army – who else do you need?
As a Ps – it’s almost always the small town Shluchim that get all the glory and attention at the kinnusim – they are the roll call people and the speakers… even though they’re probably the minority…
The speaker at the Khof beis Shvat kinus gave a hearty Kol hakavod to the shluchos who plan an event… and only a few people show up, and who host a college student for weeks, months … and then never hear back from that student. I so appreciated her words. The shlichus is to show up, make the effort, give it your all. That’s it. Not doing the bookkeeping of “how many souls can I – yes, Big Important Me! – take pride in affecting.”
There was a story printed about a Shlucha who had a major event happening around the new Mikvah – Tahras Hamishpocha. They planned the even to attract a large crowd. Speakers snacks etc. The day comes and no one except 1 woman shows up. You could imagine their absolute disappointment. They were devastated to say the least. Afterwards they wrote to the Rebbe. Sharing their horror, all the monies they spent went to waste etc….. only 1 Women !!! The response the Rebbe sent was including other things !! משה רבינו האט געהאט איין מאמע Meaning (in my words) to… Read more »
Is that we treat other people like trash and judge each other instead of working on ourselves. I’m not sure why there aren’t more lectures and events that center around human decency and middos, because clearly this is something that’s lacking within our education systems.
If this is what people you hang out with are telling you, just forget them. Find other friends. You’re doing amazing work. Why do you need this sad people in your life. Go get ‘em
Dear Shliach, Check it out – I think you will get a lot of Hanaah
As a small town Shliach for the past 20 years, I can tell you one thing. No one cares about you so don’t listen to anyone’s criticism. Schools and camps will reject your kids if you can’t pay in full regardless if you are a Shliach or not. Get ready to pay 100k/year just for Chinuch. No main office will give you a significant amount to feed your family and cover your day to day needs. You are on your own and you do what you need to do in order to create a cash flow regardless of what anyone… Read more »
in the end what matters is how Hashem judges us and what He thinks of us
Firstly, recently at a farbrengen, I heard a parable that Rabbi Shalom M. Paltiel said in the name of his shver, that once there was a bus driver who serviced a bus route at the edge of town, who thought that his route was insignificant so he decided that he will take his bus down the main street of town instead of his allotted route. In a very short while the whole town was in an upheaval as his neglected edge-of-town route impacted the entire town…. – Your Shlichus is vital and it impacts everyone, even if it doesn’t seem… Read more »
I’m not in any way an expert or someone big to have any major knowledge in this subject matter.
As a simple follower doing what’s called on within our abilities. I read the article and some of the comments here. Some seem political some offensive some sympathetic some rude. I really don’t care for many.
However, I can think of 2 very famous and powerful responses from the Rebbe to Shluchim/Shluchos which I care to share here on this subject….
1) to Rebbetzin Garelik in Milan Italy
2) to Rebbetzin Groner in Australia.
Hatzlacha on your missions. Besuros Tovos
Aren’t we supposed to be the party that says things the way we see it and mocks the snowflakes that get offended from every comment that doesn’t align with their truth?
If asking “How many families do you have in your Chabad House,” is beyond the pale, then what is allowed?
From someone who does myself, I’d highly recommend to start therapy. For in general. It will only improve your life
One thing is very clear Unfortunate power/fame brings arrogance Impossible to run away from it and we all heard enough from all the mavins It is very easy to be a tzadik in shul It is very easy to look down on others when everything is going (extra) well It is very easy to judge someone and complete miss it’s (real) target, you could never see the entire picture necessary to see/understand the truth Wake up yidden the day is very near when the whole truth will be publicly known This entire chat is toxic and unproductive and completely not… Read more »
I don’t think you brought out your point very clearly
We are “the successful shluchim”, with the big crowds, beautiful building, etc. When a shliach comes to visit, often they make biting remarks about our “success”. It’s uncomfortable and demeaning. So everyone in life, shluchim or not, family or not, basically all people of the human race, have people who look down on them, whether it’s because of their perceived “success” or because of their perceived “failings”. This is a reflection on the person making the disparaging comments. Not on the person it’s directed at. It’s Important to remember – Hurt people hurt people. Keep living your best life and… Read more »
Before someone comments on this, if your not on shlichus its nice for you to give your input but do you share the experience that the author has or are you just sympathizing and fantasizing it happening to you?
Burying your head under the cloak of messiras nefesh not ready to recognize that you are hurting yourself and your family It could be that you think your kids will respect you for the mesiras nefesh that you took on but in the meantime you flopped on your most basic responsibilities A miracle here and there is not an indication that you are on the right track or doing the right thing Tshuva broiv yoetz and asai lecha rav Its ok to find another mokom hashlichus there are plenty of stories where the rebbe told shluchim to change their mokom… Read more »
You can inspire the more recent post by a women burned out in her shluchus. This is the attitude of the Rebbe. One person in one place making a difference for one person. This is exactly what shluchus is and is meant to be. Bringing yiddishkeit to one person wherever you are sent. Much continued Hatzlacha in your shluchus!