As a shliach in a “not so Jewish” neighborhood, I would like to think that we are conscious of the safety of our children. It is not a place we can hang out at night, and we are careful to keep our doors locked etc.
While visiting Crown Heights last week, I noticed a young 6 year old boy sitting alone in pajamas on the bottom step of his house at 8 AM. As I passed, I thought to myself how the parents have this false sense of security about their children. I committed that I would have a conversation with my children about the dangers of talking to strangers, safety etc.
When the story about Leibby Kletzky broke, I decided that this would be a good time to have that conversation.
I recalled reading about how kidnappers (and child molesters) scare children by telling them that is they don’t follow orders, or if they run away, they will c”v harm their families. So I asked my 9 year old daughter what she would do if told to get into a car, obviously she responded that she would not and would run away. I then asked her, what if the kidnapper threatened to c”v kill Mommy or Totty, she responded that then she would follow the orders.
Wow! I then proceeded to explain that this was a scare tactic and that she must never follow orders even if the entire family is threatened. Instead, I advised that she scream for help and run away, and if ever c”v abducted she should use every opportunity to run, even if her family’s life was threatened. In all likelihood, I continued, were she to run away the kidnapper would be caught.
I am writing this to encourage parents to have this conversation with your child and teach them basic safety. In addition, use this as an opportunity to talk to them about be aware of unsafe behaviors from people that they know. Most abductions and molestations are from people the child knows.
Finally, please continue to daven from Yehuda ben Ita Esther, may we only share good news.
Thank you to the Shaliach who took out the time to write simply, practically and wisely. You cared enough to share. Parents, care enough to take the advice to heart. I know you are all trying, but lets focus inward more.
The wisest thing someone once told me, was to stop blaming the circumstances in which you find yourself in. It is your fault that you have found yourself in such a disposition, so fix it, cease wasting time accusing others for your own lapses. Stop placing the blame on those not from the same racial or ethnic background as we can see it was one of our own who committed such a horrific crime. Educate your children, take the time to explain to them the dangers of this world do not let them suffer due to their own naivete!
I agree with you not even a ten year old should walk by themselves, but what makes a ten year old able to babysit their siblings or anyone else for that matter??
IT SEEMS TO ME, BEFORE WE START EDUCATING THE KIDS WE SHOULD EDUCATE THE PARENTS! I WOULD BE A BILLIONAIRE IF I HAD JUST ONE PENNY FOR EACH VERY YOUNG CHILD I SEE ROAMING THE STREETS, OR GOING TO SCHOOL OR SHUL ON THEIR OWN. ONE WOULD THINK YOU CAN BUY THESE CHILDREN IN THE 99 CENT STORE. PARENTS, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE BEFORE IT HITS HOME CHAS VESHOLOM!
many times i’ve seen babies left in strollers on the sidewalk alone. presumably the parent ran into the house for something.
it’s a very irresponsible practice.
when was the last time u tried walking into the back on pretty much any house on that block and see whats behind the houses??? the empire side all have backyards with gates seperating the properties, and the lefferts side all have the same without the gates which makes things even more dangerous.
someone who lives on stering and bklyn can easily have thier kid innocently playing in the back yard and starts to wander and 2 minutes later finds itself on ny avenue.
why dont you have to tell kids not to play with fire after they came in contact with it once? because they feel the pain it’s real…its not explained or lectured. it’s cause and effect…
we dont need any lecturing now.
IF WE NEED ANYTHING IT’S THE GEULAH AND FOR US NOW WE CAN GIVE A CLASS WITH TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE THIS HEART-BREAKING STORY NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN
what is the point of this article???????
To scare people?????
WE ARE SCARED!!!!
They say the murderer is known to be a child abuser. Is this true? If it is, what else is there to say? Whatever we do about this malignant problem in CH, we need to do it now, before even one more instance of abuse in ANY way occurs. NOW! This is not written to in any way detract from the tragedy of Leibby’s death, but it is written in with him in mind.
I drive to work every morning at 8 15. I often see children that look about age 7 or 8 . Defineitely under age 10 walking up Brooklyn Ave alone. I observed that many times the street is totally deserted and it has many times crossed my mind that it looks dangerous to me. Anyone could chas visholom ,chas v”choleela this child and noone is even around to hear or see. In this case my heart goes our to his mom , who I am sure is a loving caring mom as they say she went over the route with… Read more »
PLEASE MOTHERS AND FATHERS DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS @ AGE 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, WALK ALONE TO DAY CAMP OR SCHOOL!!!!!! unfortunately some of us parents have our priorities mixed up!!! Children should walk in groups/pairs only!
Why was the child not accompanied by a member of the civilian police, the Shomrim. Are children aware of who these people are and that they can go to them for assistance as well as a regular cop? On a side point, Shomrim should be armed and given police powers, not just security guards. Additionally, the people of NYC should be given back their right to keep and bear arms. Don’t worry; people like the creeps that killed Leibel won’t be able to get a gun because of their previous history and mental condition.
Horror!
My condolences to the parents, family and friends.
There are no words…tragic and devastating.
Once again we see the outcome of a weak, loveless, government, that doesn’t follow ‘The 7 Noahide Laws.’
How many more, Jew and non-Jewish children have to be the victims of adults that don’t care?
This is one reason ‘The Rebbe, MH”M, stressed the importance, urgency, of effecting these righteous and civilized laws.
While there is a concern over safety, especially in the wake of such a horrifying tragedy, one must never use this as an excuse to stifle your life and smother your children.
There are precautions to take, and then within the confines of those, live as normal.
Here in Mtl, few years ago, a girl (then 7 or 8) has been molested in the alley of her house, as she was playing. Her mother was in the kitchen and the child was by herself. The guy has never been found. A lady was walking with a carriage but didn’t notice anything. DO NOT SAY, MY CHILD IS JUST DOWNSTAIRS OR BY THE CORNER!!!!!!!! MOLESTERS & KIDNAPPERS DON’T NEED MORE THAN FEW SECONDS R”L
I’ve never let my child walk alone in the street without me or my wife accompanying her. No amount of “safety talk” can prevent someone from simply grabbing a child and pulling them into a car. No one would interfere with this in the least. If the child were screaming, EVERYONE would presume they are witnessing a recalcitrant “spoiled brat” throwing a tantrum and they wouldn’t interfere unless it was an obvious interracial incident and Kol sh’chein a situation like this with a “frum” looking guy doing the kidnapping. The ONLY solution is for a parent to accompany their child… Read more »
Shabbos morning 7 am my husband and i saw a kid (no older then 5 yrs old) wondering in his pjs by Albany bakery .We asked him where he lived and promptly delivered him to his house on Union and Troy.The front door was open and his mother was asleep in the living room/bed room and didn’t seem that concerned. boy did i give it to her!
So heartbreaking; beyond words. Our hearts go out to the family
Parents.. It’s time to wake up and realize that WE are responsible for our children. NO CHILD should ever be without adult supervision..not even a 10 year old who is “mature enough” to babysit siblings.. There is a neurological deficiency in kids under the age of 16 when it comes to responsibility. Many parents are completely unaware of this!!! Let’s do our best to ensure that our children are as safe as they can be!! Let’s pray for this boy!! My heart is with his family right now!
I always talk to my kids about that. you should not go in the car with any strangers .
so yestaday i told my kids what happenden if some one stops you and said get into the car, so one said they will run, the otherone said i will scream fire.or call call hatzalah or 911 or run to the police. PARENT ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR KIDS.
unforunately, in most cases, kids would not be able to resist physical, or scare threats. it is so seldom that kids are abducted, that we mostly scare our kids for no reason. Most kidnapping is done by family members, in divorce disputes. Google how often strangers abduct kids in this counry, and do the arithmetic on what the chances are.
Leibby was 9 years old. Is that too young to go home from day camp unaccompanied? I think not. This is a very unfortunate, but unusual event.
BTW, Sterling Street has no back yards.
My mom told me that sometimes “they” ask a kid for directions. There was a DateLine special where they tested kids … pulled up in a car and asked a kid, do you know where _____ is. The kids went over to the car to give directions. We have explained to our kids that an adult should never, ever ask a child for help. I think also people have a false sense of security … if the guy is wearing a white shirt and black pants, he is one of us. From the videos that are posting, it looks like… Read more »
Thanks for sharing. The example you laid out to your child was spot on; difficult for the parent and child to have to speak that way but much truer to life than the conversations we typically have on these subjects. I will have that talk with them *today*.
thanks
My kids always call me “overprotective”, they can’t walk around by themselves, not even when they walk to school… by day, and most certainly when there are school functions by night! Overprotective??? I don’t think so!!! Throughout the year I see so many girls going to BR at all times of the morning! Any time one of my kids was late, even if it was by 30 minutes and the crossing guard was still by the corner (and it didn’t make a difference if it was the boy or the girls!), I made them even later by making them wait… Read more »
i’m hoping he will be found healthy and safe. But parents in CH – how many of you have I spoken too? When you left your infant in the stroller outside in the hot sun, while you “just ran inside to buy a couple of things”! And I happened upon the child and waited 5, 10 minuutes for your return. You left your baby outside, but you didn’t leave your purse in the stroller! Why? Because you have a false sence of security. No one – and I mean no one – will bat an eye if a nochri walks… Read more »
Parents please make sure to wait for yor kids as they get offthe school bus daily never be to sure and hashem willand should watch over all the kinderlach make sure they know what is safe
how do u know he was six?
The solution at least for little ones under 8 is pretty simple. Don’t leave them unattended outside. I see far too many people leave their little ones as young as 2 and 3 outside alone. I mean to me that is just plain irresponsible. I know that sometimes a child will wander outside when a parent is busy, but many times the parents are well aware of and let them out by themselves. With great trepidation I allowed my kids to only walk anywhere by themselves when they were 10 and even than i made sure they were not alone.… Read more »
right on. it seems to me that for some reason kids in our community aren’t taught basic safety precautions and that is dangerous. Keeping kids aware and street smart is crucial. Preventive medicine is infinity better than, C”V. Chinuch is also teaching kids to chabdeho vechsdehu, to be repectful yet suspicious at the same time…
I was walking down Sterling St last week and a little girl (maybe 3 years old) was wandering down the block. I found her father in his backyard and he starting telling her off. When I saw that I gave it to him over the head!
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