Hundreds at Chinuch Event

Hundreds filled the Razag Ballroom in Crown Heights Thursday night to hear prominent mechanchim speak on “How Do I Give My Children a Chassidishe Chinuch?” The event was organized by Merkaz Anash and dedicated l’ilui nishmas the beloved mechanech Rabbi Yeshayah Schtroks a”h on his first yahrtziet. The event was watched and heard live by hundreds more via TorahCafe and a call-in number.

Rabbi Shimon Hellinger, director of Merkaz Anash, opened the event, and touched upon the meaning of “chassidishe chinuch” and how it varies from just a “yiddishe chinuch.” He explained how Chassidus in general introduced two components to yiddishkeit: some added concepts and minhagim, and more importantly – a livelier and deeper appreciation for yiddishkeit. The same is for chassidishe chinuch: besides the chassidishe inyonim which we teach our children, we must inspire them with a chayus and inner joy towards in everything they do.

Rabbi Mordechai Lipskier, director of The Beis Medrash and long-time student of Rabbi Schtroks, spoke on the power of having a positive role model. He explained that role-modeling can be a direct influence, when our child sees us model a specific behavior, and an indirect influence, when the child sees our general approach to matters of yiddishkeit.

Furthermore, even when we cannot be a full model for our child (i.e. we don’t have the time to learn as much as our child can), the child will recognize our priorities from what we do during the limited free time that we have. We must also be careful not to steal the role models from our children, by criticizing their teachers or Rabbonim. Rabbi Lipskier illustrated his points with stories, including many memories of Rabbi Schtroks.

Rabbi Zalman Leib Markowitz, who was a teacher and principal in Morristown NJ for eighteen years and is currently serving as the Educational Consultant for Merkos Linyonei Chinuch and chinuch mentor to Shluchim worldwide, spoke of the challenge of peer pressure and a negative environment. He offered three solutions to help deal with it.

The first: creating a positive environment. He pointed out three mistaken approaches that people may have when facing spiritual negativity in their surroundings: (1) feeling dejected by the situation, (2) embracing it and adapting themselves to all the negative influences, (3) looking condescendingly upon others who are lost. None of these are productive.

Instead, parents must create a positive environment by focusing on the positive elements of yiddishkeit in their surroundings and their life. By highlighting the positive (and there are BH many wonderful things going on), we lift ourselves and our children to a better plane, where these challenges are not significant.

The second point is the necessity for parents to be in-tune with the specific needs of their child. Even a “grown child” has emotional needs, and ignoring them is equivalent to ignoring the cries of a hungry infant. It is our obligation to ascertain the child’s troubles, to sympathize with him and, when possible, to help him resolve the issue.

His third point was to appreciate the value of what we have. Every day there are hundreds, from very frum to not-yet frum, who are moved by the Rebbe’s Chassidus, while we, having grown up with it, lack that excitement. Yet, we must constantly remind ourselves of the great treasure that we have and expend every effort to connect with it.

However, here too it is important that we recognize the specific needs of each child. Different children will respond to different valid elements within chassidishkeit: one will be inspired by a video of the Rebbe, another by a niggun, and a third by a chassidishe story. We have to recognize this and give each child the chassidishkeit they can relate to. Pushing a child towards a practice which they are not suited, can, as the Frierdiker Rebbe writes, “lead them completely off the proper path.”

The final speaker, Rabbi Shmuel Lew, veteran shliach and mechanech in London UK, spoke of the significance of motivation in chinuch and the way to achieve it. He explained that without a passion for yiddishkeit we are lacking a most important factor and our adherence to mitzvos is limited. We need to impart to our children a joy for a mitzvah, which will hold them back from seeking other sources of enjoyment.

Rabbi Lew spoke about maintaining the healthy balance between the inspiration (“ohr”) and the child’s capabilities (“keli”). The child’s capabilities must be assessed so that he receives the proper measure of inspiration, not overdosing them. At the same time, the Rebbe has shown how even when one seems very distant (poor “keli”), the inspiration of yiddishkeit is powerful enough to draw them close (as seen from the tens of thousands of baalei teshuvah in recent years).

Today we face a challenge of our children being ‘inside’ with their eyes focused ‘outside.’ As the Rashbatz told the Frierdiker Rebbe as a child, “Better to be outside looking in, than inside looking out.” It is our responsibility as parents to inspire the child with a joy for yiddishkeit so that nothing will be able to distract him from it.

At the late hour the crowd left with hands full of Merkaz Anash publications. Many lingered on to discuss their questions with the mechanchim before returning to their routine with their family.