By a young husband and father:
I have always been perceived as the quintessential “chassidishe working guy”. I tried all my life to maintain a balance in my life, through a daily Torah shiur, actively participating in my children’s chinuch, and of course, my job, which has b”H been sustaining the daily requirements of my growing family.
But a few years ago, I found it more and more difficult to complete my daily routine and get through my responsibilities as I felt weak and ill and my body slowly broke down. After a series of medical tests, I received a devastating diagnosis of cancer.
My wife and I are both young, and we are blessed with 4 children. We could never have imagined the toll my illness would take on the fabric and function of our family. I began to receive regular treatments and also went in for several surgical procedures. These have b”H kept me going, but they also kept me from my usual activities and responsibilities.
Becoming a “full-time patient,” I no longer had the time or the koach to do anything else. As my illness progresses, I am now traveling out of state for specialized treatments that are crucial to my recovery iy”H. I am no longer able to provide for my family, as I have been unable to work for over a year now, and many days I am unable to fulfill my duties a lot of my duties as husband or father, as I am simply too overwhelmed with my illness to be emotionally or physically available to the people dearest to me.
Rather than go into details of my daily challenges, I am writing this op-ed to illuminate one very special aspect of my family’s difficult ordeal. At one point in my illness, when it was clear that we were not managing, my wife was approached by a woman who offered to send her high school daughter to babysit so that my wife can accompany me to my important appointments.
Little did we know that this woman was a volunteer board member of Bikur Cholim of Crown Heights. She befriended us and asked our permission to relay our plight to the Bikur Cholim Board. Before long we were receiving all kinds of crucial assistance, from rides to and from the hospital, home cooked meals on days when my wife was too overwhelmed to take care of housework herself, financial aid for medication and supplemental therapies that are necessary to my healing but mysteriously not covered by insurance, special attention and gifts for my also suffering children (from a subdivision called CHAI Friends), emotional support and guidance from doctor recommendations to just hand holding and patient listening throughout this ordeal. In short, we were barely making it through each day before Bikur Cholim came along and now we have help coming from many directions that allows to live more normally, with dignity.
I consider the women of Bikur Cholim of Crown Heights the unsung heroes of this community. Their time, effort and supportive care is outstanding, and more so, they are all volunteers and receive no credit or glory for their hard work. Bikur Cholim is conducted in the most discreet and modest way, so that the families on the receiving end never worry about any breech in confidentiality. This makes it hard for the organization to announce all the amazing work it does and ask for the financial contributions it desperately needs to continue this vital work.
But I am here to tell you that there are many more families just like mine who receive the constant and caring support from Bikur Cholim of Crown Heights and our lives wouldn’t be manageable without their assistance. I will never approach you in shul and say “My cancer has robbed me of the ability to work and my treatments have eaten up all my family’s savings, I cannot pay rent next month and my children need new shoes for the upcoming school year.” But I have this conversation with Bikur Cholim on a regular basis, without fear of my situation going public, and they continue to help us in every way they can.
Unfortunately, i cannot pay them back for everything that they did and are doing for my family and I and I assure you many more. So I ask you to help me and reach into your hearts and contribute generously to this worthy cause.
Thank you in advance, and may Hashem reward your generosity with good health and long life.
Donations can be sent to:
Bikur Cholim of Crown Heights
387 Kingston Ave, Suite 10
Brooklyn NY 11225
Phone: (718) 467-1661
Email: info@bikurcholimCH.org
Beautiful. Thanks for bringing attention to such a wonderful organization, wishing you a complete refuah sheliemah.
my shver passed eway over ten years ego, thy are emazing thy were in hospitol evry day,as if one of ther family,was sick r”l,
thy should get all the help in the world.
Very touched that this young man has the sense of gratitude, even whilst fighting for his cure – to thank those that deserve. May u be healthy and well bekirov mamaesh!
It is beautiful that such a group exists. Everyone of us is obligated in this mitzvah. Each one should keep eyes and heart open to the needs of others. In our small community an email sign-up list goes out for volunteers and everyone knows who is taking what task so needs are covered and not duplicated. There is always room for work one-on-one anonomously or discretely but this is not always practical. From a long life from being a child of a parent who at one time needed physical, moral and financial help to adulthood where I have both been… Read more »
I approached them on behalf of a family whose father was hospitalized and they helped without any waiting
they should be blessed and supported
ah gut gebentchteh yor for klal yisroel
Bikur Cholim of CH does an incredible job to help families in many different ways,and all quietly . May Hashem bless them with success in their continued good work!!
But also, can we have your name to daven for you??
Bikur goes out of their way to make the families stricken with illness enjoy life. Even paying for Bas Mitzva parties, including paid activities, so that the kids can feel special. Dedicated and sincere women! Refuah Shelaima to the author a speedy and complete recovery. May you be zoche to speedily be once again on the giving end of the line.
Donate @ bikurcholimch.org
THEY HAVE BROUGHT CHESSED TO CROWN HEIGHTS,,,, we are all given the opportunity to cook meals for others, give them rides, visit them, help them in countless ways and of course give tzedakah!
Never before have I seen such selfless woman who will stop at nothing to help others in our community. They go above and beyond your average bikur cholim with a percent of the resources. And do things unheard of in other bikur cholim’s if it means making the patient or their family a little happier or a little more comfortable.
amen
btov hanireh vhanigleh
moshiach now
The Aibisheter should bentch you in every every possible!
Your letter is a moving tribute to this wonderful organization. Wishing them continued hatzlocha in their vital work and a Refuah Shelaima Ukeroiva to you. Moshiach now!!
I have seen both sides of the coin, those being helped and the woman of bikur cholim in action, no judgements, no “no’s”. they are dedicated selfless women who are also raising families. kol hakovod and def a worthy org to support. bikur cholim, you’ve got my vote
refuah shelaima to the author
BS”D May Hashem BLESS you and the other recipients with good health and long life.