By A Bochur
Firstly, I’d like to thank the author of the article “I am a Frum From Birth Baal Teshuva.” The writer so eloquently put into words something that has been on my mind for a long time, and it was beautifully and masterfully written.
I would like to elaborate on a few points which I think would be a good continuation of the article.
I agree that there are so many people today who feel a disconnect when it comes to Chassidus and our own daily life, and therefore I would include this call to action to all who read the above article, in three categories.
1. Parents.
If you’re reading this PLEASE don’t wait for a Yeshiva or Seminary to help your kid figure this out, because if they aren’t raised with these ideas and an understanding that these concepts are Emes, and that the Rebbe is our greatest gift of clarity in a world of confusion, then Yeshiva becomes a tedious culture, waiting to get out from the second you get in. However, if these beautiful truths are appreciated, one can genuinely appreciate what the yeshiva is trying to give them. Although Chinuch doesn’t take away anyone’s free will, but it can definitely put them on the right track towards making the correct choices on their own.
On the other hand, if a home is full of secular influence, a kid going to a school that presents a lifestyle different than one they grew up with, will be immediately faced with the internal struggle between two worlds.
Ask yourself, can I blame my kid for not seeing its relevance if I never gave it to them properly or shown a living example?
There has to be a serious effort on the part of the parents as well, don’t just rely on a School to pour some magic potion on your child that will turn them into Chasidim. I understand that you may not be ready to clean your home from outside influences, but at the very least don’t be surprised when your child chooses the lifestyle those influences portray.
2. Yeshivos/Schools.
LISTEN. Read this heartfelt plea to begin showing the relevance of the Rebbe in our modern day. Start with choosing set topics in Chassidus to teach in a year, learn chasidus BEIYUN, let kids see that it’s real and relevant. Translate and use visual presentations, etc, etc, figure it out. It must be done, as much as I love this article I’ve read the same thing in different words TOO MANY TIMES, I know too many people that can relate, myself included. If a kid is having a hard time with Seder and you’re considering kicking him out maybe consider that he may just be THE KID IN THE ARTICLE YOU JUST READ. One thing you tell them can change their lives I promise you. SHOW THEM IT’S REAL AND IT’S NOW IN 2022!
Although you may blame the parents for a mediocre education, just know that the Rebbe said specifically of our generation that unlike back in the day, in many homes both parents are working and dealing with the fact that the world itself is on a much lower level than it was then, today specifically there must be an increased effort on part of Schools to embed basics of Jewish belief (starting with the belief in G-d) and lifestyle into their students, and particularly through teaching Chassidus in-depth, and practically, in one occasion saying AT LEAST from the age of 6(!) in order for them to be “proper Jews”. There are many, many sources to look at for this, all one must do is care enough to look. I’ll suggest starting by listening to this, hear what the Rebbe requested in Yechidus with a leader of a non-Chabad School, speaking of the vital importance of teaching Chassidus and the basics of Jewish faith to both boys and girls. If all this is in regards to schools outside of Chabad, how much more so Schools that carry its name and should be running on the Rebbe’s vision!
And this is all regarding the kids who stick around, with their white shirts and hats and jackets, or long skirts, yet inside don’t see the relevance of Yiddishkeit, the Rebbe, and Chassidus in their lives. I have yet to even mention the number of guys who DON’T make it through the whole system or stick around.
Firstly, recognize that they both stem from the same issue, lack of personal connection to the ideas they are being “taught”.
And secondly, stop looking at the ones who actually leave as the Nebach cases, and ignoring the issue at hand. No, it’s not uncommon, unfortunately. Maybe if they had been told, taught, and most importantly SHOWN the beauty and relevance of Yiddishkeit and Chasidus they’d have an easier time fighting the challenges of our overwhelmingly anti-religious world.
One must know that there’s Emes in order to understand and withstand the Sheker of the society that surrounds them.
3. Bochurim/Girls.
While you may have had negative experiences in school or yeshiva, or maybe you never really connected with it and just floated your way through the system, I, as well as many of my friends can tell you that everything this author wrote is one hundred percent true.
There is so much beauty and never-ending amounts of depth and clarity in Chasidus, it’s not just a vort on the Parsha or a few lines on being happy or telling you to be nothing, Chasidus is a window into a whole new approach to life. You can learn about what makes you who you are, understand every part of your purpose in this world, it will help you know Hashem in a realistic way, and finally, it will show you that at its core, all of the above are one. By understanding Hashem you understand yourself, and by understanding yourself you understand Him.
And our Rebbe, who isn’t just the one who tells us this, truly SHOWS us this. Practically, specifically in this REAL world. Each one of his sichos and mamorim are glimpses into the essence of reality, not a futuristic one, but one that can be seen now in our own experience.
My limited space here doesn’t allow this to properly do justice to the depth of this matter. It can simply be described as truth. You know it when you taste it.
Give it a taste. You won’t regret it.
And to those who had negative experiences whether at home or at school, just remember that no one or nothing should be able to take away your gift of Chasidus, it belongs to you. OWN IT.
Beautiful! I love how you give every “group” a “responsibility” and show how when each do their part it works as well as no blame.
I just am in awe how in depth and emesdig you went. If only people would be LIVING by such an example the whole chabad would be a whole lot different. Unfortunately regarding points 1 and 2 – the reality is a whole lot different. You are facing parents and schools with their TRUE RESPONSIBILITY to raise the next dor. Unfortunately the reality is: THEY DONT WANT IT. How it’s done up until now is how THEY DECIDED IT SHOULD BE! Now lastly: frum from birth go on their own and either continue their parents/schools chinuch as most of our… Read more »
I don’t agree that anyone who was born frum doesn’t mean it or isn’t willing to change, I think it’s an absurd notion. No one is better or worse, we are all on our own journey.
However I do agree that much can be learned from the sacrifice and truth seeking of a Baal Teshuva.
Till you haven’t been abused by them, you wont understand. And BT have A LOT to say about that. I’m not even going to begin in the FFB side between them how they Truely feel about eachother. in front of BTs they are angels and between them it’s a double life whole nother story on its own…. you can be in denail, as most are but the truth always comes out…
I applaud you and fully agree👍
I just want to reiterate Chassidus and all the connection to the Rebbe without basic adherence to Shulchan Aruch will continue to produce what we are seeing on the streets today. Without a Geshmack in Mitzvos the above becomes a smoke screen that doesn’t last.
I don’t understand why you are grouping the “system” as one big group. There are many/most mechanchim who really do try and instill these concepts into the hearts of our children.
Why are you creating a strict separation of Chassidus and hiskashrus from adherence to the Shuchan Aruch? Most will agree that being familiar with various chassidic concepts and even appreciating the Rebbe’s unique greatness does not mean that one has necessarily internalized it. True Chassidus and hiskashrus are not factors that are secondary to adherence to Jewish law; to the contrary, they help strengthen our resolve to follow that law.
I can’t say I’ve read an article that brought the nekuda across as well as this. It speaks to the heart of the issue we are facing today. Respectful but no beating around the bush. I just wish that articles like these would be brought to the eyes and ears of our educators. We finally need to realize what we so easily preach to the velt that school is not merely for the purpose of providing a child with informational knowledge, but to instill within the child ethical moral values and creating mentchen. When will we finally focus in our… Read more »
No matter what our schools and yeshivas will try to instill in our children, in order for them to be receptive to it, it MUST be done with love and sincere caring for the student. If the student is shown this as well as respect from the teacher they will accept graciously anything and everything that teacher will impart.
Wow – for a brochure that went thru the system, I’m impressed with your writing skills!
What I take from this is: all the torah, chassidus, inspiration etc. only are accessible when there is kindness. Like the story of Hillel on one foot, ahavas yisroel is the foundation- if everyone, especially those in positions of influence and running mosdos, takes a breath and contemplates how they are interacting with others with kindness, that will open doors for so many to be able to feel connected to yiddishkeit.
most healthy Yidden develop a closer relationship with Hashem, as they mature. there are so many avenues to help us grow today. Chabad utilizes so many creative ways to help their fellow Yidden to connect to Hashem. There is no one correct way. i appreciate all of the efforts of Chabad Chassidim. You are doing a marvelous job. May Hashem bless you with great Hatzlocha.
When I read this article, I became very upset. This bachur is still young and naive. He is yet to become a parent, or a teacher, how can he make assumptions ? You don’t know how much someone is trying to infuse torah and chassidus. It also says, it you save someone, it’s like saving a world. It’s not the people that fall , but the people you save.
You are young and naive, please don’t judge until you are a parent of a child who is struggling.