Grieving Mother’s Heartfelt Words

By Rabbi Mendy Katz, Director of Outreach Programs at Aleph Institute

Yesterday I traveled to Kiryat Arba to pay a Shiva call to the Ariel family. Their beautiful 13 year old daughter Hallel Yaffa was brutally murdered in her own bedroom by a 17 year old Palestinian terrorist. When Tila Falic texted me that she arranged a bus from Jerusalem to visit this family, I just had to go. How could I not show this devastated family that the entire Jewish nation is with them during their most difficult time ?

I am not good with these types of Shiva calls because I don’t know how to look into the eyes of a mother of a 13 year old girl who was just murdered in her own bedroom and tell her that everything is going to be fine. How can one even be in her presence and not break down in tears. The tiny house on the outskirts of Kiryat Arba was overflowing with people. Six members of Knesset visited the family just in the short time that we were there. When we arrived, the mother, Rina was sitting with Naftali Bennet, a member of Knesset. As soon as she heard that we arrived, she picked herself up and walked away from the Minister of Education, Naftali Bennet and came outside to sit with us.

She held a picture of her beautiful, talented, innocent daughter. She just wanted everyone to know how thankful she was that G-d gave her a wonderful gift for 13 years. She wanted everyone to know how special and wonderful her daughter was. She wanted everyone to know that she looked at this terrible tragedy with the cup half full. She talked about the miracle that her other children left to school early that day and their lives were spared.

Most people who went through something like this would be crying uncontrollably for days, months and years. This brave, amazing woman was smiling and so composed and just focused on her mission to teach people to believe in G-d and to teach people how important the Mitzvah of living in the entire Land of Israel is, regardless of the sacrifices.

Rina had no anger in her heart. She was not angry at G-d, She was not angry at the politicians, she was not even angry at the Palestinians. She just had love in her heart. She greeted everyone with respect and her full attention. It did not matter who it was, whether it was a non religious person from Tel Aviv or a charedi Rabbi from Jerusalem. She greeted Knesset members with a smile from the left who are openly against Jews living in places like the outskirts of Kiryat Arba.

Opposition leader Yitzchock Hertzog was there for a long time being embraced by the family and even by many of the right wing community members and members of Knesset. ( I asked Opposition Leader Hertzog to put on Tefillin and he responded that he puts on Tefillin every day. Another Knesset member from the left, Amir Peretz did put on Tefillin with me at the Shiva house.)

Rina and her husband were so humble and so friendly. They greeted each visitor to their house like they were family. Rina and her husband had no agenda. They just wanted everyone to know about their daughter and to feel connected to her. They wanted everyone to know how proud they were of living in the biblical home of the Jewish people. So close to the holy city of Chevron where Avrohom Avinu is buried. They wanted everyone to know what a great dancer Hallel was. They wanted everyone to know what Hallel did for her Bat Mitzvah project.

Instead of walking away sad, depressed and crushed, I walked away strengthened by the resolve of this family. The resolve of all the brave men, women and children that put their lives on the line every minute just to live in the Biblical Land Of Israel, near the holy city of out forefathers. I saw with my own eyes how the Jewish people are One and United regardless of their level of observance, regardless of their political persuasions.

I learned a very important lesson, that we must be thankful for what G-d gives us instead of always complaining about what we want and don’t have. Thank G-d we will never have to experience what this mother is going through. However, instead of being thankful that we don’t have to go through that, we look at what others have and we say to ourselves, why can’t I have that? We need to look at the attitude of this courageous mother and follow her lead.

We need to thank G-d that we have healthy beautiful children that live a safe place and we don’t need to be worried about a terrorist breaking in and murdering them in their own bedroom. We need to look at the gifts that G-d gives us and not what he takes away from us. We need to be focused like Rena and her Husband Amichai. Even in the most turbulent and difficult times in their lives, they chose to b use this devastating experience as an opportunity to serve G-d and encourage others to do the same.

Am Yisroel Chai.

VIDEO: Rine Ariel speaks to visitors