Gabi & Rivky’s After Life

By Mordechai Kaler for COLlive.com

It has taken me a long time to work up the courage to put the following story in writing, but I strongly feel that now is not only the right time to do so, but the perfect time to do so. As we are coming up to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law’s 3rd yahrtzeit this Motzei Shabbos, I feel the need to tell this now.

Everyone heard the amazing stories of Gabi and Rivky’s shlichus and the complete and utter self-sacrifice they lived with day in and day out until their tragic murders. The story I am about to share though, is a very personal and miraculous story about how Gabi and Rivky continue to affect our lives and inspire us even after their passing.

My wife and I were married on Beis Adar Beis 5765 and we were extremely excited to begin our life together. We anticipated, as most young couples do that fairly soon after our wedding we would be expecting a child and we would constantly imagine and dream about that time. Who would the baby look like? What will we name him or her?

It soon became apparent though that our path to parenthood was not going to be as smooth as we had innocently imagined. After over a year of trying to conceive we were diagnosed with “unexplained Infertility”. To a young couple in their early 20’s these words were incredibly scary. We were two healthy and active young people, how could this happen to us? We traveled from doctor to doctor and were told the same exact thing after every visit. “We know there is a problem preventing you from conceiving, but we don’t know why…” Every test led to more questions and never any answers.

A few years passed and the pain of being childless became deeper and stronger. We decided after going through emotionally, physically and financially draining unsuccessful fertility treatments that we should take some time to recuperate before attempting anything else. A part of us, as difficult as it is to even write this, started to come to terms with the very brutal reality, that we may never become parents.

Throughout this entire process there were always 2 people who knew exactly what and when to say something comforting to us. We had this custom, where after a Yomtov we would speak with Gabi or Rivky to hear what happened in Mumbai. We always found it inspirational and uplifting to hear the amazing stories that would take place at their Chabad house.

On Chai Elul 5768 we had one of these uplifting conversations. Not only did Gabi recap the events of the previous night’s farbrengen but after we told him about our plan to take some time off from the fertility treatments, he spent close to an hour trying to convince us to do the exact opposite. Now is the time to dive in without limitations he said. While we were reluctant to take any financial assistance, Gabi insisted we call Bonei Olam, whom as you all know is an unbelievable organization in New York whose mission is to assist every jewish couple overcome infertility and realize the dream of parenthood. We told Gabi we would be calling them and he ended the call by benching us with a Gut Gabentchd Yor and told us that this coming year we will be blessed with a child!

As promised we made the phone call to Bonei Olam and they quickly took us under their wing. I will never forget the compassion with which they handled every aspect of our situation. Not just from a financial perspective although they were beyond generous in that regard as well, but I would receive random calls from our case manager just to see how we were feeling on a given day! Day or night, and sometimes in the middle of the night, they were there for us.

They set us up with an incredible Doctor in our area and we immediately began treatments again. After the first couple of treatment cycles were again unsuccessful our Doctor sensed our despondency and reassured us that we should not lose faith, it will happen. He recommended we take a more invasive approach during the next cycle. Throughout the entire process, Gabi and Rivky were there cheering us on and continuously advising us to carry on and never give up. After this conversation we advised our doctor we are ready to proceed with the next steps.

Our first more invasive treatment was scheduled for November 26th 2008. A date we will never forget. As we were driving to the appointment that afternoon we received the call from a family member… there was something happening in Mumbai and no one can get in touch with Gabi or Rivky. We debated whether to continue to the appointment or immediately turn around and head to New York. After much deliberation we decided to go to the appointment.

After we left and headed home we were in constant communication with members of our family who were keeping us updated on the situation. Needless to say the stress this period of time induced on my wife, not knowing if her brother was alive, was unbearable. We were forced to travel to Israel on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, and later heard the devastating news literally minutes before Shabbos.

The turmoil and sadness that ensued is beyond description and I will not attempt to put any of it to words. But to put salt on the wound, as the saying goes, when we returned home we were notified that this cycle of treatment as well was unsuccessful. My wife and I couldn’t find it in us to continue anymore, but after speaking with our case manager from Bonei Olam he made us realize that it was Gabi and Rivky who pushed us this far… we cant give up now on account of what happened to them. They would want us to continue! As incredibly difficult as it was we made our appointment for the next cycle of treatments. The very next day we returned from Israel. It took every ounce of faith and determination in my incredible wife to go to this appointment.

I cant help but cry as I write this… but I will never forget the phone call I received from our Doctors office a couple of weeks later. The nurse herself told me she had to pull herself together before making this phone call but the words she said to me was “Congratulations! Your test came back positive! Your wife is pregnant!” I was driving when she called and had to pull off to the side, trying very hard to control my emotions but I couldn’t help myself from crying and smiling all at the same time. I immediately got in touch with my wife at her work and we just couldn’t believe the news!

9 and a half months later, our daughter Rivky was born… on Chai Elul 5769, exactly one year after Gabi blessed us. And 7 months ago, we were blessed again with our second daughter Malkah Raizel.

My hope in sharing this story, is that if there is even a single person who finds him/herself in a difficult situation, whatever it may be…. Never lose hope and never give up. Gabi and Rivky ingrained this life lesson into me and I am reminded of it each and every day of how powerful and rewarding it is when I see my beautiful children. Thank you Hashem for giving us the blessing of our children and for allowing us tobe touched by these amazing people.

Thank you Gabi and Rivky … for everything.